For one, I love food. It is like the most amazing thing every when properly made. I wish I could be a judge on Iron Chef America. My mouth is just watering right now and I dont care who wins.
I love making food for my family. I love finding new recipes and trying them out. I love eating something new and I just freaking love food. My presentations might not be the best, but who cares. If there is one thing I have learned, food often taste better then it looks and coming from someone who judges things upon their looks, that is saying a whole lot. I think my favorite things to make though is the main course. I mean I'm good at making cakes and cookies, but I'm really the main course kind of girl. And I have recently learned that I can go from being a grill master (thank you father) to being a grill master minus the grill plus the cast iron. Yup, hot dogs, hamburgers, an steaks you have found a new home in my kitchen, though I do miss the barbecuing nights. Anyways, I think I would love to be on a show where all you do is eat food. Maybe I should be a food critic.
When my daughter was still a newborn, she came down with a case of colic. I sat up during the night with her while she cried and my husband sat staring helpless. Eventually I got her to calm down and sleep. I kept my cool the whole time knowing there was really nothing I could do but rock her. After my husband returned to Iraq, I realized the miracle that is Linkin Park. I can't really remember how I figured this out, but by singing various Linkin Park songs to my daughter, soothed her to sleep. In fact one night I spent half the night doing nothing but singing to her. She was no longer colicky, it was just one of those rare nights where she felt like she needed mommy there. I still find that I singing "The Little Things Give You Away" calms my dear Monkey even when she is at her crankiest or sickest. So for that I say thank you Linkin Park for not only being one of my all time favorite Bands, but for also soothing my sweet Monkey when no one else can.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
All the little things.
I always wanted a baby. Even when I was running around acting like nothing matter to me, I still wanted a baby deep in the back of my mind. I wanted everything for this baby. I wanted the perfect life for it. I wanted to be the mom with all the answers and the mom who knew how to make anything. I wanted to have a husband who could be home before dinner so the ball could be thrown out back while I put the finishing touches on the perfect meal. I wanted so many things for my child that I did not have. Everything but one thing that sadly I think my perfect child has.
I can remember the first time I "felt" something. I'm sure I had felt it before, but this is the first memory I have of it. A man walked behind my mother and I. To most he looked like a man who needed a shave and possibly some cleaner clothes. He may have just gotten off work or maybe he was a bum. I don't know. We were in Wal Mart though, a very open and public place. A place I had gone many of times with my mother and father. This time however it was just my mother and I. When that man walked behind us it felt like I caught a glimpse of this thoughts and I wasn't something I ever wanted to experience again. I was little, it was scary, and I didn't understand it. For some time, it was quiet in my mind. No more weird feelings or thoughts. But then my Grandmother died.
I didn't get to know my Grandmother like my sister did. My mother and sister lived with my grandparents at one point so she had a wonderful relationship with our Grandmother. I was always with my father's mother. I honestly cant remember why, but she was the one I had a strong bond with. Well my Mamama was sick one day, as was I, and so my Grandma came and picked me up. I wanted to go over to her house since lately I had started to get closer to her and found that I loved being around her (she also had awesome cable and allowed me to watch Rugrats until my brain was ready to explode). Anyways, I spent a great day with her. I remember playing in this huge box and blowing bubbles inside. I was still sick a few days later, but went to my sister's basketball game instead of going to my Grandmothers. My Grandparents were suppose to come to the game but never showed. When we got home there was a message on the answering machine. I remember my sister and I ridden with our mom home from the game and stopped to get ice cream while our dad went home. He was waiting for us at the door. He told my sister and I to go upstairs. We sat on the stairs and listened to him telling our mother how our Grandmother had been rushed to the ER earlier in the night. They went to the ER and my sister and I stayed home, not really sure what to think. It was a rough three days. She had a heart attack then a stroke and had a blood clot in her head. I wanted to go in and see her, but the nurses said I was too young. My sister and I sat out in the waiting room as they took her off the ventilator. It was weird, but I felt like she was there with us, wrapping her arms around us as we both cried and stared out the big glass window in the waiting room. A few weeks went by and life slowly returned to normal. I was laying in bed one night with my sisters Pug Peanut and felt someone sit down on the edge of my bed. It was a water bed. Peanut had been passed out moments before but was not suddenly barking like a psycho path. I needless to say ran across the room to turn on the light. Nothing was there. I slept on the couch for days.
Slowly more things like this began to happen. Some times it was little harmless things, other times...it wasn't. The TV turning on and off, Peanut going insane, barking at thin air, the downstairs door slamming and then the sound of someone running down the stairs. All these things I told my mother about and she simply told me it was in my head. My sister said she saw a man standing in her doorway one night and my mother said you are just dreaming. My sister was more inclined to believe her, I however just stopped talking about it. I learned to ignore it. If something caught my eye I didn't look. The hair stood up on the back of my neck, I'd keep the same pace and tell myself God was with me.
I met my husband. He was a very interesting man from day one. Funny, annoying, and insanely good looking. He was one of the few men I have ever met that I could actually talk to and tell things too. It's funny, but we both had the same "deep dark secret". I can still remember the day I told him. He said "Na uh that was what I was going to say!" It was cute. I felt like I could trust him and so I told him about the things that had happened to me. I was surprised when he told me he had some of the same experiences, yet relived to know I didn't have to go threw this new dark world alone.
The day he left I was fine. Slowly though, things started to happen again. It got so bad that I couldn't sleep. I would go days without true sleep, only sleeping during the day and insuring the TV was on all night. Finding Nemo became my new best friend for the nights Samantha slept outside with my fathers dog Mattie. I felt like I was slowly losing myself and my mind. Again I turned to my mother. She told me I had to close that door, the door that seemed open to things most people don't even realize are there. She also told me that she too had had things happen to her, though nothing like mine.
Finally the knight returned and we began a new life together. Of course we would have to get the one apartment that had something lurking around in the second bedroom. We slept in the living room while we waited for our furniture to arrive. He would get up to go to work at around 5 and I would throw the covers over my head with the portable DVD player sitting under the sheets with me. Something was always watching me from the stairs, though it barely made an effect to bother me. Here and there threw the two and half years we lived there, it would open the back door or brush against my legs, but other then that it was pretty civil. The nights my husband was away I would cuddle with Samantha in bed while Finding Nemo or Monsters Inc. played all night. We didn't have cable for a long time, so they brought comfort to me.
When I became pregnant I was beyond thrilled. We had tried for over a year and a half with not even a true maybe. He left for deployment and I left for my parents. At first I was worried especially since I was doomed to sleep in the basement for a few months. Samantha was banned to the outdoors with our pit bull King. He and my father didn't see eye to eye. Nothing even happened though. Eventually Samantha became an indoor dog again after a horrible incident that left me unable to keep King around her safely. After being alone outside for a week she decided she needed to be indoors with me and chewed threw a chain link fence. Yeah I know my dog is pretty bad ass. Anyways, I moved upstairs finally and life was pretty peachy. I had one awful experience while pregnant. It was when my Great Aunt died. We were in the elevator heading up to her room after receiving a phone call from the doctor saying she wasn't going to make it threw the night, when it hit me. It was this feeling of dread. At first I thought it was because I was pregnant, but I deep down I knew it wasn't. As we left the elevator and headed towards her room it took everything I had to force myself to keep going. The nurse met us at the door and told us she had died. I almost passed out. After finding a chair a few rooms down, the air felt clearer and I could suddenly breath. Later while standing in the hallway preparing to leave, someone brushed up against me. I turned around to see who it was, but no one was there. I almost threw up as it happened again. I almost ran out the front doors demanding air as my father asked me what I was doing. He thought (or so I thought) that it was pregnancy hormones rearing their ugly heads again. The next day the house was empty. I could feel it pressing down on me when I left the living room. But thankfully I was left alone.
My sister and I were arguing over those creepy shows she loved to watch were they go to haunted places and find things. She told me I should watch them, I told her she was nuts. She then told me how her now husband was a lot like me and how certain family members were like him too. She said it ran in the family. I didnt believe her though because she didnt have it, nor did our mother. They both have had things happen, but nothing like what I have. Things leave them alone. Then it occured to me that we dont share the same father...and that maybe, just maybe, my father had become a really good actor. Turns out I was right.
Sadly that's the moment that I realized what my husband and I could see and feel would be passed down to our child. I prayed it would simply cancel itself out. I hoped beyond belief it would just skip our children and theirs as well. I prayed it stopped at us.
Being the way I am, I tend to talk to God. Maybe not as much as I should and maybe not when I don't need Him, but I do talk to Him. I pray He protects my husband who is thrown into dangerous situation because of his job. I pray He protects my father who doesn't have the best heart anymore in his old age. I pray He gives my mother strength to pull threw since she is always there for everyone. I pray He keep my sister safe and gives her the love she has always needed. But most of all I pray he gives back what I have passed on to my child. I'll gladly take it 10 fold to keep her from ever having this, even though I know she does, already she does. All I can do now is teach her that there will always be someone there for her, even if she thinks shes all alone.
I love my child, she is all I have ever wanted. I will do anything for her and when I am gone, I pray that I have left her with enough to know there is always someone there to keep her safe and wrap her in His arms, when everything else is creepy around in the dark.
I can remember the first time I "felt" something. I'm sure I had felt it before, but this is the first memory I have of it. A man walked behind my mother and I. To most he looked like a man who needed a shave and possibly some cleaner clothes. He may have just gotten off work or maybe he was a bum. I don't know. We were in Wal Mart though, a very open and public place. A place I had gone many of times with my mother and father. This time however it was just my mother and I. When that man walked behind us it felt like I caught a glimpse of this thoughts and I wasn't something I ever wanted to experience again. I was little, it was scary, and I didn't understand it. For some time, it was quiet in my mind. No more weird feelings or thoughts. But then my Grandmother died.
I didn't get to know my Grandmother like my sister did. My mother and sister lived with my grandparents at one point so she had a wonderful relationship with our Grandmother. I was always with my father's mother. I honestly cant remember why, but she was the one I had a strong bond with. Well my Mamama was sick one day, as was I, and so my Grandma came and picked me up. I wanted to go over to her house since lately I had started to get closer to her and found that I loved being around her (she also had awesome cable and allowed me to watch Rugrats until my brain was ready to explode). Anyways, I spent a great day with her. I remember playing in this huge box and blowing bubbles inside. I was still sick a few days later, but went to my sister's basketball game instead of going to my Grandmothers. My Grandparents were suppose to come to the game but never showed. When we got home there was a message on the answering machine. I remember my sister and I ridden with our mom home from the game and stopped to get ice cream while our dad went home. He was waiting for us at the door. He told my sister and I to go upstairs. We sat on the stairs and listened to him telling our mother how our Grandmother had been rushed to the ER earlier in the night. They went to the ER and my sister and I stayed home, not really sure what to think. It was a rough three days. She had a heart attack then a stroke and had a blood clot in her head. I wanted to go in and see her, but the nurses said I was too young. My sister and I sat out in the waiting room as they took her off the ventilator. It was weird, but I felt like she was there with us, wrapping her arms around us as we both cried and stared out the big glass window in the waiting room. A few weeks went by and life slowly returned to normal. I was laying in bed one night with my sisters Pug Peanut and felt someone sit down on the edge of my bed. It was a water bed. Peanut had been passed out moments before but was not suddenly barking like a psycho path. I needless to say ran across the room to turn on the light. Nothing was there. I slept on the couch for days.
Slowly more things like this began to happen. Some times it was little harmless things, other times...it wasn't. The TV turning on and off, Peanut going insane, barking at thin air, the downstairs door slamming and then the sound of someone running down the stairs. All these things I told my mother about and she simply told me it was in my head. My sister said she saw a man standing in her doorway one night and my mother said you are just dreaming. My sister was more inclined to believe her, I however just stopped talking about it. I learned to ignore it. If something caught my eye I didn't look. The hair stood up on the back of my neck, I'd keep the same pace and tell myself God was with me.
I met my husband. He was a very interesting man from day one. Funny, annoying, and insanely good looking. He was one of the few men I have ever met that I could actually talk to and tell things too. It's funny, but we both had the same "deep dark secret". I can still remember the day I told him. He said "Na uh that was what I was going to say!" It was cute. I felt like I could trust him and so I told him about the things that had happened to me. I was surprised when he told me he had some of the same experiences, yet relived to know I didn't have to go threw this new dark world alone.
The day he left I was fine. Slowly though, things started to happen again. It got so bad that I couldn't sleep. I would go days without true sleep, only sleeping during the day and insuring the TV was on all night. Finding Nemo became my new best friend for the nights Samantha slept outside with my fathers dog Mattie. I felt like I was slowly losing myself and my mind. Again I turned to my mother. She told me I had to close that door, the door that seemed open to things most people don't even realize are there. She also told me that she too had had things happen to her, though nothing like mine.
Finally the knight returned and we began a new life together. Of course we would have to get the one apartment that had something lurking around in the second bedroom. We slept in the living room while we waited for our furniture to arrive. He would get up to go to work at around 5 and I would throw the covers over my head with the portable DVD player sitting under the sheets with me. Something was always watching me from the stairs, though it barely made an effect to bother me. Here and there threw the two and half years we lived there, it would open the back door or brush against my legs, but other then that it was pretty civil. The nights my husband was away I would cuddle with Samantha in bed while Finding Nemo or Monsters Inc. played all night. We didn't have cable for a long time, so they brought comfort to me.
When I became pregnant I was beyond thrilled. We had tried for over a year and a half with not even a true maybe. He left for deployment and I left for my parents. At first I was worried especially since I was doomed to sleep in the basement for a few months. Samantha was banned to the outdoors with our pit bull King. He and my father didn't see eye to eye. Nothing even happened though. Eventually Samantha became an indoor dog again after a horrible incident that left me unable to keep King around her safely. After being alone outside for a week she decided she needed to be indoors with me and chewed threw a chain link fence. Yeah I know my dog is pretty bad ass. Anyways, I moved upstairs finally and life was pretty peachy. I had one awful experience while pregnant. It was when my Great Aunt died. We were in the elevator heading up to her room after receiving a phone call from the doctor saying she wasn't going to make it threw the night, when it hit me. It was this feeling of dread. At first I thought it was because I was pregnant, but I deep down I knew it wasn't. As we left the elevator and headed towards her room it took everything I had to force myself to keep going. The nurse met us at the door and told us she had died. I almost passed out. After finding a chair a few rooms down, the air felt clearer and I could suddenly breath. Later while standing in the hallway preparing to leave, someone brushed up against me. I turned around to see who it was, but no one was there. I almost threw up as it happened again. I almost ran out the front doors demanding air as my father asked me what I was doing. He thought (or so I thought) that it was pregnancy hormones rearing their ugly heads again. The next day the house was empty. I could feel it pressing down on me when I left the living room. But thankfully I was left alone.
My sister and I were arguing over those creepy shows she loved to watch were they go to haunted places and find things. She told me I should watch them, I told her she was nuts. She then told me how her now husband was a lot like me and how certain family members were like him too. She said it ran in the family. I didnt believe her though because she didnt have it, nor did our mother. They both have had things happen, but nothing like what I have. Things leave them alone. Then it occured to me that we dont share the same father...and that maybe, just maybe, my father had become a really good actor. Turns out I was right.
Sadly that's the moment that I realized what my husband and I could see and feel would be passed down to our child. I prayed it would simply cancel itself out. I hoped beyond belief it would just skip our children and theirs as well. I prayed it stopped at us.
Being the way I am, I tend to talk to God. Maybe not as much as I should and maybe not when I don't need Him, but I do talk to Him. I pray He protects my husband who is thrown into dangerous situation because of his job. I pray He protects my father who doesn't have the best heart anymore in his old age. I pray He gives my mother strength to pull threw since she is always there for everyone. I pray He keep my sister safe and gives her the love she has always needed. But most of all I pray he gives back what I have passed on to my child. I'll gladly take it 10 fold to keep her from ever having this, even though I know she does, already she does. All I can do now is teach her that there will always be someone there for her, even if she thinks shes all alone.
I love my child, she is all I have ever wanted. I will do anything for her and when I am gone, I pray that I have left her with enough to know there is always someone there to keep her safe and wrap her in His arms, when everything else is creepy around in the dark.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Stick that in your Juice Box and SUCK IT!
I totally judge a book by its cover, and you know what? I have yet to be wrong. I mean really, I once thought to myself after looking at a book with an OK title, but horrific cover, that maybe, just maybe this would be a good book. Guess what? I read the whole thing and it sucked. I wondered to myself weeks later as I was looking at yet another crappy book, that perhaps that was simply a fluke. So I read it and not to my surprise, it sucked. I have a few other times given the crappy looking book a go and they all sucked! So I judge a book by its cover and have yet to be wrong.
I am dieing for this weekend to begin. It it of course Uncle Newman's birthday and I am so excited to make his cake Friday night and dinner! We of course having the celebration on Saturday (his actually birthday) and that is when we will have cake. I'm just making it the night before. We have some friends coming over and I am pulling out the old cast-iron to "grill" us up some burgers and dogs. I was even thinking about broiling the hamburgers. Our grill is sadly out of order, but that's cool because I love my cast-iron! I'm excited to cover his wonderful cake in icing and decorate it! I am even planning on getting him a present when I make a run to Micheal's Saturday morning for more yarn. I'm hoping he likes what I plan on getting him. Anyways Im just really excited. I love cooking and making things. I'm also really pumped up for Monkey's b-day bash in a few weeks. So much happening so little time!
Another reason for wanting to weekend? I really want to get back to work on Monkey's afghan. All last night and today I kept thinking "Oh I know what I can do, I can crochet, oh wait no I cant, I don't have any FREAKING YARN!" Ugh.
I am dieing for this weekend to begin. It it of course Uncle Newman's birthday and I am so excited to make his cake Friday night and dinner! We of course having the celebration on Saturday (his actually birthday) and that is when we will have cake. I'm just making it the night before. We have some friends coming over and I am pulling out the old cast-iron to "grill" us up some burgers and dogs. I was even thinking about broiling the hamburgers. Our grill is sadly out of order, but that's cool because I love my cast-iron! I'm excited to cover his wonderful cake in icing and decorate it! I am even planning on getting him a present when I make a run to Micheal's Saturday morning for more yarn. I'm hoping he likes what I plan on getting him. Anyways Im just really excited. I love cooking and making things. I'm also really pumped up for Monkey's b-day bash in a few weeks. So much happening so little time!
Another reason for wanting to weekend? I really want to get back to work on Monkey's afghan. All last night and today I kept thinking "Oh I know what I can do, I can crochet, oh wait no I cant, I don't have any FREAKING YARN!" Ugh.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
So ball one of yarn for Monkey's new afghan in finished! I'll have to go and get some more yarn on Friday or Saturday. I'm pretty excited. I've never made one by myself and so far so good. My mom and I both made her a hooded afghan that she loves, but this one will be one that I made on my own! I think I'll have to have her help me with the boarded though. I'm doing something a little different with it and well some back up would be nice.
As for moving, the day is approaching quickly. I'm actually getting a little nervous about a 22 hour car ride with a 1 year old. She's a horrible car rider, HATES being in her carseat, add in two dogs and well it's gonna be a long 22 hours. I am however very excited to be moving to a new base. It will nice to have a fresh start some where new. I still need to clean out the junk closet and donate some things to Good Will again. I also really need to organize baby clothes/baby toys. Thankfully I still have a few weeks left, but between Uncle Newman's birthday this weekend, Mother's Day, and then Monkey's Birthday/going away party, that time is going to just disappear. OK deep breath before I have a panic attack.
On a better note, it was super warm today. 80 was the high, ever window is open, and the fan it a blowing away. Poor Sid needs a hair cut so bad shes panting even under the fan. I might take her this weekend and get it done if they have any openings at Petco. She sure gonna look weird without any hair!
Welp, I guess thats pretty much it. The boys should be home soon and expecting some dinner (which is still cooking away in the crock pot) so I guess I need to find something else to go with it, as well as figure out to feed the Monkey tonight!
As for moving, the day is approaching quickly. I'm actually getting a little nervous about a 22 hour car ride with a 1 year old. She's a horrible car rider, HATES being in her carseat, add in two dogs and well it's gonna be a long 22 hours. I am however very excited to be moving to a new base. It will nice to have a fresh start some where new. I still need to clean out the junk closet and donate some things to Good Will again. I also really need to organize baby clothes/baby toys. Thankfully I still have a few weeks left, but between Uncle Newman's birthday this weekend, Mother's Day, and then Monkey's Birthday/going away party, that time is going to just disappear. OK deep breath before I have a panic attack.
On a better note, it was super warm today. 80 was the high, ever window is open, and the fan it a blowing away. Poor Sid needs a hair cut so bad shes panting even under the fan. I might take her this weekend and get it done if they have any openings at Petco. She sure gonna look weird without any hair!
Welp, I guess thats pretty much it. The boys should be home soon and expecting some dinner (which is still cooking away in the crock pot) so I guess I need to find something else to go with it, as well as figure out to feed the Monkey tonight!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Let it rain. I'll cowboy up on the Dog.
 | |
| Monkey "riding" Samantha |
After a good time of Samantha riding, then Samantha hunting, Monkey decided she needed her nap 30 minutes early. OK by me because I was dieing to take a shower. Thankfully the storm hadn't started at that point otherwise I would have been showering with two dogs. Afterwards the storm came. It honestly wasnt that bad, just lots of thunder which is what I am pretty sure woke up the Monkey. Its funny a loud booming bark outside her door, and she sleeps like a rock, but a little rumble in the sky and she's up. Anyways Monkey and I ate lunch in the kitchen while Sammy took refuge under the table. I offered her some uneaten toast with banana but she refused. Finally though the rain and thunder stopped and I thought we were in the clear. Sadly however it has started to thunder again. For now the girls are snoozing (Sam on the floor Sid on the couch) and the Monkey keeps laying down on the floor with her paci and blanket. I'm sure she needs to take another nap since her first one was only an hour and a half (its usually three hours).
Haha moment, the tv blasted the warning alarm while Monkey was coming around the corner. I swear she said "Daaaaang" as she entered the room. What I really dont get is if she did say it, where did she learn it? I cant recall the last time I said dang.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Poor me another glass and lets get this Zombie Apocalypse started.
OK so we've all seen at least one zombie movie in our lives. Personally my all time favorites have to be Zombieland and Resident Evil. Why may you ask? Simple, they are very possible. And I suppose I have to add in I Am Legend because that one is pretty realistic too, though not a favorite of mine because (spoiler alert) the dog Samantha dies and well that's my dog's name. Now before we jump right on into this conversation that I am more then likely having with myself and possibly 2-3 readers, let me inform you that it is 12:18 am, the house is asleep (excluding Samantha and I) I am tired but not tired enough and Robot Chicken is playing the background (no offense Seth Green but yuck). I am also waiting for a video to finish uploading on facebook. I thought hey I need to kill some time so lets talk Zombies.
Now for anyone who has been paying attention to the world that is not revolving around them it is pretty obvious that the whole thing is going to shit right now. If its not a natural disaster (my home town is just about completely under water and Japan...well that just sucks) then its a threat on government shut down, or (huge shocker here) yet another war on something retarded. So really its only a matter of time before someone finds a "cure" for something or rabies suddenly manifest into some type of unbeatable thing and BAM one stupid retard walks up to a raccoon and gets bitten. He then walks into town and grabs a person by the neck and takes a bite. Instead of just shooting both people someone will try and contain them and before you know it Zombie outbreak.
Possibility two a few people volunteer for the "cure" and end up walking into a hospital complaining of a stomach ache. They then vomit all over some poor helpless nurse, it gets in her eyes/ears/mouth and instead of again shooting both people (sorry poor helpless nurse) in the head because that's the only way to truly kill a Zombie, an outbreak again happens. Now I know you think I must be cruel for saying just shoot the people, but lets think about this. My friend's kid gets a cold. That kid then sneezes all over my friends house. They then sneeze on my child. The next day my friends entire family now have a cold. Two days later my daughter, myself, and my husband have a cold. Our other friend comes over for the weekend. He gets sneezed on. Now he has a cold and takes it back to his barracks. He sneezed into his hand and didn't wash his hands before touching the door knob to his room. His roommate touches it and now has a cold. He goes to his friends, sneezes and now they have a cold. You get my point here? Shit travels fast. All it takes is one Zombie. One person gets infected and by the end of the month over half of the US is infected. It wouldn't take long for it to spread to the rest of the world, especially because there would be mass panic and the shoot first ask questions later wouldn't happen until much later in this new world.
So Zombie survival 101. First off follow certain rules of Zombieland.
Now here is where the whole Left for Dead issues come in. You've got the rare Zombie experience in this one. We're talking Super Zombies (Resident Evil can also come into play here again). Personally I don't believe in this Zombie world, though my husband hopes for it. I just don't think it seems realistic enough, however, the plan for Super Zombies is get to a cold place. No matter how "Super" they are, not much can survive in a cold Siberian winter (not that I'm saying head for there) but the point is extreme winter temps have their upsides. If it's -50 (Fort Drum weather) I doubt any Zombie is gonna be a true challenge even if they somehow manage to still be able to "live" you could easily drive around shooting them as they stand frozen to the ground. So extreme cold temps work in your favor. I say find a house, clear it, set up headquarters, and then have some fun practicing your snipping. I have also considered extreme warm temps, but personally I don't think I could stand the smell. Most Zombies have some form of rot already happening on them, I'd hate to add heat to that. God the smell would be HORRIBLE! But if you were born for the sun then well...get a nose plug.
There are many other things to add to this such as avoid setting up camp in a store of any type and really avoid setting up any type of permanent camp. Moving is key. If you stay in one place for too long you run a risk of getting trapped. Also avoid the unknown, as in people. When crap like this happens it becomes kill or be killed and any type of human compassion pretty much gets thrown out the window. Stick with the ones you know. For example, Zombie outbreak happens tomorrow it becomes, me, husband, Monkey, the girls, and Uncle Newman. The girls can pretty much take care of themselves and I know Samantha would die for us. Uncle Newman has been trained to kill just like husband. I have a badass card and as for Monkey she is the hope for a better life. So there is our little group. We head further up North. That is pretty much all I'll say just in case Zombie's can one day learn to read.
Welp again there is tons more I could add to this, but since I am getting tired, I think I might call it a night.
Now for anyone who has been paying attention to the world that is not revolving around them it is pretty obvious that the whole thing is going to shit right now. If its not a natural disaster (my home town is just about completely under water and Japan...well that just sucks) then its a threat on government shut down, or (huge shocker here) yet another war on something retarded. So really its only a matter of time before someone finds a "cure" for something or rabies suddenly manifest into some type of unbeatable thing and BAM one stupid retard walks up to a raccoon and gets bitten. He then walks into town and grabs a person by the neck and takes a bite. Instead of just shooting both people someone will try and contain them and before you know it Zombie outbreak.
Possibility two a few people volunteer for the "cure" and end up walking into a hospital complaining of a stomach ache. They then vomit all over some poor helpless nurse, it gets in her eyes/ears/mouth and instead of again shooting both people (sorry poor helpless nurse) in the head because that's the only way to truly kill a Zombie, an outbreak again happens. Now I know you think I must be cruel for saying just shoot the people, but lets think about this. My friend's kid gets a cold. That kid then sneezes all over my friends house. They then sneeze on my child. The next day my friends entire family now have a cold. Two days later my daughter, myself, and my husband have a cold. Our other friend comes over for the weekend. He gets sneezed on. Now he has a cold and takes it back to his barracks. He sneezed into his hand and didn't wash his hands before touching the door knob to his room. His roommate touches it and now has a cold. He goes to his friends, sneezes and now they have a cold. You get my point here? Shit travels fast. All it takes is one Zombie. One person gets infected and by the end of the month over half of the US is infected. It wouldn't take long for it to spread to the rest of the world, especially because there would be mass panic and the shoot first ask questions later wouldn't happen until much later in this new world.
So Zombie survival 101. First off follow certain rules of Zombieland.
Now here is where the whole Left for Dead issues come in. You've got the rare Zombie experience in this one. We're talking Super Zombies (Resident Evil can also come into play here again). Personally I don't believe in this Zombie world, though my husband hopes for it. I just don't think it seems realistic enough, however, the plan for Super Zombies is get to a cold place. No matter how "Super" they are, not much can survive in a cold Siberian winter (not that I'm saying head for there) but the point is extreme winter temps have their upsides. If it's -50 (Fort Drum weather) I doubt any Zombie is gonna be a true challenge even if they somehow manage to still be able to "live" you could easily drive around shooting them as they stand frozen to the ground. So extreme cold temps work in your favor. I say find a house, clear it, set up headquarters, and then have some fun practicing your snipping. I have also considered extreme warm temps, but personally I don't think I could stand the smell. Most Zombies have some form of rot already happening on them, I'd hate to add heat to that. God the smell would be HORRIBLE! But if you were born for the sun then well...get a nose plug.
There are many other things to add to this such as avoid setting up camp in a store of any type and really avoid setting up any type of permanent camp. Moving is key. If you stay in one place for too long you run a risk of getting trapped. Also avoid the unknown, as in people. When crap like this happens it becomes kill or be killed and any type of human compassion pretty much gets thrown out the window. Stick with the ones you know. For example, Zombie outbreak happens tomorrow it becomes, me, husband, Monkey, the girls, and Uncle Newman. The girls can pretty much take care of themselves and I know Samantha would die for us. Uncle Newman has been trained to kill just like husband. I have a badass card and as for Monkey she is the hope for a better life. So there is our little group. We head further up North. That is pretty much all I'll say just in case Zombie's can one day learn to read.
Welp again there is tons more I could add to this, but since I am getting tired, I think I might call it a night.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Art how I miss you so.
I use to love to paint. I use to paint, and draw with chalk, I use to write poems like it was going out of style and I use to love photography too. Now, even though I still love those things, I just seem to have either no time to do them or no inspiration for it. I take pictures of my daughter, some of them turn out wonderful, others just look like a picture a mom took. When it comes to painting, I haven't picked up paint brush in over two years. My chalks are still lying in storage some where along with my old composition notebooks full of half written novels and some pretty heart wrenching poetry. Anyways my whole point to this was I went to Micheal's today to get some yarn so I could practice my crochet techniques on. Of course I wasn't sure where the yarn was since I hadn't been in there forever and I ended up wondering down the paint isle with Monkey in tow. I felt a small pit of sadness form in my belly as I realized I had not painted a single picture since before Monkey was born. Then we found the picture frame isle, which was good because I was able to see what kind of frames I needed for the hallway. But again a small pit of sadness as I realized my hobby of photography had not been used a whole lot lately. I do however blame that one on the weather. Its just been too cold to take Monkey out for a fun photo shoot in the sun. Eventually we made it to the yarn and that is where I knew I felt what my mother must feel every time she starts a new project. I was insanely happy and excited. I even got a new book on things to make. I plan on making her a jumper with booties and a blanket. The jumper and blanket both have pockets for a kitty that you also make. I'm excited and have already started on the blanket. I'm afraid I'll need some help from my mother on the booties and jumper. Either way though I'm really excited about! Even though I may not have the same inspiration as I did before, I now have a new inspiration for new things. One day when my baby is old enough I might find the writing inspiration that has left me for some time, but for now I will just enjoy making her fun little things she can keep forever!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
I want paint the backyard Green.
So the other day I made some awesome baked chicken, and I mean it was awesome. Anyways, while I was throwing in the cilantro and grape tomatoes, it occurred to me that I have yet to make a garden this year. Not really possible since we are in an upstairs apartment and moving in a few weeks, which brought me to my next thought. We will be living in a climate that can allow plants to grow for more then four months out of the year!
For some time now there has been a bag of sunflower seeds sitting on the microwave just calling my name. When we lived off post I planted them the summer before I got pregnant. They were amazing. I had never planted flowers from seeds before. When I was younger I would "help" my parents plant seeds, even grew lettuce one summer on my own, but never flowers. I was worried they wouldn't make it. It was a cool spring with frost still appearing on the ground some May mornings. But then one day I walked out side and there they were, some taller then I was! It was an amazing feeling to know that I made those. Sunflowers are my absolute favorite flower. I love how huge they can get. It seemed taunting to have that bag sitting there calling my name and not being able to plant them, but once we move I see no reason of why I cant.
I was watching "Play With Me Sesame" (with my child of course) and Ernie was growing an imaginary garden. In his garden he had an elephant plant. It reminded me of the elephant ears my mother use to grow. I was also very found of these. I just loved how big and green they were. So here is yet another thing I am putting on my garden list of this to grow. Since we are suppose to be getting a backyard because we have dogs, I feel very confident that we will have some area that I can plant things in. I'm sure it will be a very long and hot weekend when I make the "garden area" but if I get to have my elephant ears and sunflowers I will be happy.
I would also like to grow an herb garden, though probably indoors. I love fresh herbs, they make for the best ingredients. It would be nice to have them on hand vs running to the store and praying they have what I'm looking for. It would be something I've never done before, but after the sunflower garden turned out so wonderful, I have confidence I'll be able to make it succeed.
The one thing I always loved about growing up in the South was being able to run barefoot threw the yard and the various gardens my parents had. It was a wonderful thing to have a huge yard to play in with flowers and plants growing all around me. I loved the smell of the tulips that I picked regularly for my mother. I loved the plant that would bloom every night as the sun was setting. I want my daughter to have those types of memories. I want her to run threw the garden, pick roses and tulips, and feel the grass beneath her bare feet. I want her to grow up in a home that has a backyard painted green.
Eventually my husband and I plan to have a house in Montana. I have talked to him about the possibility of building a greenhouse for me. The winters can be harsh and long, which means having a huge garden year round isn't really an option. So I want a greenhouse that I can fill full of veggies, flowers, and other plants. I'd love to take it all to a farmers market (probably the best thing ever invited) and sell my fresh grown veggies (free of chemicals) to other people. Perhaps I'll even grow fruit, though that may require a bigger greenhouse.
I am probably not the best "Green" Mother, but I would like to be. I insure we recycle, and think the new cloth diapers are the best things ever invited. FINALLY no more PINS! I also love to use products that support going green (Green Works, Seventh Generation, etc.) and I buy organic every chance I get. I think going green is awesome, if you can really find the correct resources to do it. I make my own baby food, and once I get a sewing machine, I'll end up making quilts and clothes for my daughter. I have also been dieing to start crocheting again, but I can not find my stinking stuff anywhere. Anyways, I love doing crafts with kids and it will be fun to do them with my daughter when she gets older. There are so many resources out there now on how to make your own things like paint. I can make paint that is chemical free and safe to swallow for my daughter to use before she's really old enough to make anything. I think its awesome. I also love making healthy foods for both her and my husband. Though I have yet to come across a good recipe for homemade dog food, I have plenty for healthy dog treats. I love making everything for my family and since I do stay home I am able to do a lot more then most moms. The only thing is, green options aren't offered everywhere. Sadly where we're moving, there probably wont be an alternative medicine store, the organics will only be the small things Wal Mart offers or maybe a few things the Commissary on base offers. It wont be as easy to do the green things I have gotten use to doing, but I believe we can make it work.
For some time now there has been a bag of sunflower seeds sitting on the microwave just calling my name. When we lived off post I planted them the summer before I got pregnant. They were amazing. I had never planted flowers from seeds before. When I was younger I would "help" my parents plant seeds, even grew lettuce one summer on my own, but never flowers. I was worried they wouldn't make it. It was a cool spring with frost still appearing on the ground some May mornings. But then one day I walked out side and there they were, some taller then I was! It was an amazing feeling to know that I made those. Sunflowers are my absolute favorite flower. I love how huge they can get. It seemed taunting to have that bag sitting there calling my name and not being able to plant them, but once we move I see no reason of why I cant.
I was watching "Play With Me Sesame" (with my child of course) and Ernie was growing an imaginary garden. In his garden he had an elephant plant. It reminded me of the elephant ears my mother use to grow. I was also very found of these. I just loved how big and green they were. So here is yet another thing I am putting on my garden list of this to grow. Since we are suppose to be getting a backyard because we have dogs, I feel very confident that we will have some area that I can plant things in. I'm sure it will be a very long and hot weekend when I make the "garden area" but if I get to have my elephant ears and sunflowers I will be happy.
I would also like to grow an herb garden, though probably indoors. I love fresh herbs, they make for the best ingredients. It would be nice to have them on hand vs running to the store and praying they have what I'm looking for. It would be something I've never done before, but after the sunflower garden turned out so wonderful, I have confidence I'll be able to make it succeed.
The one thing I always loved about growing up in the South was being able to run barefoot threw the yard and the various gardens my parents had. It was a wonderful thing to have a huge yard to play in with flowers and plants growing all around me. I loved the smell of the tulips that I picked regularly for my mother. I loved the plant that would bloom every night as the sun was setting. I want my daughter to have those types of memories. I want her to run threw the garden, pick roses and tulips, and feel the grass beneath her bare feet. I want her to grow up in a home that has a backyard painted green.
Eventually my husband and I plan to have a house in Montana. I have talked to him about the possibility of building a greenhouse for me. The winters can be harsh and long, which means having a huge garden year round isn't really an option. So I want a greenhouse that I can fill full of veggies, flowers, and other plants. I'd love to take it all to a farmers market (probably the best thing ever invited) and sell my fresh grown veggies (free of chemicals) to other people. Perhaps I'll even grow fruit, though that may require a bigger greenhouse.
I am probably not the best "Green" Mother, but I would like to be. I insure we recycle, and think the new cloth diapers are the best things ever invited. FINALLY no more PINS! I also love to use products that support going green (Green Works, Seventh Generation, etc.) and I buy organic every chance I get. I think going green is awesome, if you can really find the correct resources to do it. I make my own baby food, and once I get a sewing machine, I'll end up making quilts and clothes for my daughter. I have also been dieing to start crocheting again, but I can not find my stinking stuff anywhere. Anyways, I love doing crafts with kids and it will be fun to do them with my daughter when she gets older. There are so many resources out there now on how to make your own things like paint. I can make paint that is chemical free and safe to swallow for my daughter to use before she's really old enough to make anything. I think its awesome. I also love making healthy foods for both her and my husband. Though I have yet to come across a good recipe for homemade dog food, I have plenty for healthy dog treats. I love making everything for my family and since I do stay home I am able to do a lot more then most moms. The only thing is, green options aren't offered everywhere. Sadly where we're moving, there probably wont be an alternative medicine store, the organics will only be the small things Wal Mart offers or maybe a few things the Commissary on base offers. It wont be as easy to do the green things I have gotten use to doing, but I believe we can make it work.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Phantom Babies, a sick momma, and a husbands lack of cleaning duties.
So my husband has jinxed me. While we were laying in bed Friday night (the night before I started to come down with something) he says to me "You know I always thought the Army made my immune systems strong. I'd start to get sick and then BAM my Army made immune system would kick in and fight it off so I'd only be sick for a day or two. But you, you never get sick. Any time Monkey gets sick, you're the one who is with her all day taking care of her, but you never come down with anything!" I laughed thinking that was mostly true and then replied "But you're wrong. Before we left for my parents she got a really bad cold and gave it to me remember?" He just kind of shrugged it off. Well here I am four days later sick as could be. My head hurts, my ears hurt, my jaw hurts, and I can barely breath. I also wanted to vomit this morning, but thankfully didn't.
Yesterday I noticed the kitchen was looking...well...like a tornado had come flying threw it. I asked the husband to empty out the dishwasher and clean up the kitchen. Well he empty the dishwasher and that was it. He didn't even put his dirty dishes into the dishwasher afterward. I mean there I was, banned to the couch, unable to even clean up the mess that Monkey had made in the living room, and he just kind of checks out on becoming Mr. Mommy. Ugh, well he's a man and I guess that wont ever change.
Now I'm sure you may be wondering why is says Phantom Babies up top. Well first off I dislike the word fetus. It just sounds cold. Secondly I was having Phantom Baby kicks yesterday, to the point of actually feeling them with my hand, very faintly. I've gotten these before, but they usually only last for 2-3 "kicks" and then go away. I always thought they were spasms, but yesterday was something different. I put heat on my lower belly because I was having some cramps and the "kicking" went off the wall. I told my husband to go and get the fetal heart rate monitor so I could hear if there was anything going on in there. Of course the heart rate monitor wasn't working. So I decided to put my hand there for a little while to see if I could feel it. Sure enough I could feel a tiny little nudge. Really freaked me out. However, I have not missed a period, and I happened to of take a pregnancy test Friday morning and it was negative. The "kicks" didn't hurt so I was fairly certain it was not gas and though a few people on a forum I am apart of suggested giving the doctor a call, I have decided to wait a few days to see if these "kicks" continue with the intensity of yesterday. It lasted for about an hour and half before finally stopping all together. It started up again for about an hour around 9-9:30 last night, but wasn't quite as consistent. Even as I type this I've had a few of them. I am tempted to lift my shirt and see if I can see anything giving me a little nudge. I think I might pee myself if I did. Don't get me wrong husband and I want another baby. We are actually planning on trying for another one in June/July once we're all situated at the base. Since it took so long to get pregnant with Monkey and we want them close together we're gonna start just after shes one. Anyways so being pregnant isn't a bad thing, but since I have been having what I believe is my period is makes me worry that if I am something may be wrong. But I don't believe that I am pregnant. Watch I'll end up being one of those women who "Didn't Know She was Pregnant" and have a toilet baby. Anyways I'll give it a few days and if it keeps up perhaps a call to the doctor.
On to the task of preparing to move. We just gave housing notice today. So crazy to think we are about to being leaving New York. I still have a few things to get to organize all of the old baby clothes/items that wont be driving with us. I also have things to go threw in the junk closet. We've already decided to leave behind the old book shelf and just get a new one when we get there, though I do back and forth with it. There are a lot of old kitchen wear things that I need to ditch and I still have to get a charger/car charger for the portable DVD player. I'm very glad to have a small 11 month old too. We wont have to get her another car seat before we move which will save us some money. I plan on getting her a new one in August along with a potty. Yup that's right a potty. We're starting to potty train in August/September and still plan to switch over to cloth diapers in June once we are moved. I don't want to throw too many new things at her. Anyways, I'm excited for the move, but of course dreading the drive. Two dogs and a by then 1 year old will make for an interesting two days.
Well I guess that's it for now. Boom Boom Thunder Puddles OUT.
Yesterday I noticed the kitchen was looking...well...like a tornado had come flying threw it. I asked the husband to empty out the dishwasher and clean up the kitchen. Well he empty the dishwasher and that was it. He didn't even put his dirty dishes into the dishwasher afterward. I mean there I was, banned to the couch, unable to even clean up the mess that Monkey had made in the living room, and he just kind of checks out on becoming Mr. Mommy. Ugh, well he's a man and I guess that wont ever change.
Now I'm sure you may be wondering why is says Phantom Babies up top. Well first off I dislike the word fetus. It just sounds cold. Secondly I was having Phantom Baby kicks yesterday, to the point of actually feeling them with my hand, very faintly. I've gotten these before, but they usually only last for 2-3 "kicks" and then go away. I always thought they were spasms, but yesterday was something different. I put heat on my lower belly because I was having some cramps and the "kicking" went off the wall. I told my husband to go and get the fetal heart rate monitor so I could hear if there was anything going on in there. Of course the heart rate monitor wasn't working. So I decided to put my hand there for a little while to see if I could feel it. Sure enough I could feel a tiny little nudge. Really freaked me out. However, I have not missed a period, and I happened to of take a pregnancy test Friday morning and it was negative. The "kicks" didn't hurt so I was fairly certain it was not gas and though a few people on a forum I am apart of suggested giving the doctor a call, I have decided to wait a few days to see if these "kicks" continue with the intensity of yesterday. It lasted for about an hour and half before finally stopping all together. It started up again for about an hour around 9-9:30 last night, but wasn't quite as consistent. Even as I type this I've had a few of them. I am tempted to lift my shirt and see if I can see anything giving me a little nudge. I think I might pee myself if I did. Don't get me wrong husband and I want another baby. We are actually planning on trying for another one in June/July once we're all situated at the base. Since it took so long to get pregnant with Monkey and we want them close together we're gonna start just after shes one. Anyways so being pregnant isn't a bad thing, but since I have been having what I believe is my period is makes me worry that if I am something may be wrong. But I don't believe that I am pregnant. Watch I'll end up being one of those women who "Didn't Know She was Pregnant" and have a toilet baby. Anyways I'll give it a few days and if it keeps up perhaps a call to the doctor.
On to the task of preparing to move. We just gave housing notice today. So crazy to think we are about to being leaving New York. I still have a few things to get to organize all of the old baby clothes/items that wont be driving with us. I also have things to go threw in the junk closet. We've already decided to leave behind the old book shelf and just get a new one when we get there, though I do back and forth with it. There are a lot of old kitchen wear things that I need to ditch and I still have to get a charger/car charger for the portable DVD player. I'm very glad to have a small 11 month old too. We wont have to get her another car seat before we move which will save us some money. I plan on getting her a new one in August along with a potty. Yup that's right a potty. We're starting to potty train in August/September and still plan to switch over to cloth diapers in June once we are moved. I don't want to throw too many new things at her. Anyways, I'm excited for the move, but of course dreading the drive. Two dogs and a by then 1 year old will make for an interesting two days.
Well I guess that's it for now. Boom Boom Thunder Puddles OUT.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Bronchitis, rainy days, and the joys of being a mommy.
So it has been awhile since I've posted anything. My daughter has been pretty sick. We took her to the ER Tuesday night due to a fever. After three hours of working to get it down, and a negative RSV/flu test it was finally discovered she had bronchitis. Now when I found this out I was a bit pissed. Not because my child was sick it was because of what happened that afternoon and previous Saturday. Saturday we had gone to a Sgt's house to drop off unwanted baby items for his pregnant wife. When we got there I noticed her four year old and two year old hacking all over my daughter. She did not inform me that her children where sick when I sent her a text earlier in the day. Now back to Tuesday. My darling husband comes home and I tell him it feels like Monkey has a fever. He laughs his "that's just f-ing great laugh" and says his Sgt's kids have upper respiratory infections. The same Sgt we saw on Saturday. Now for those who may not know this bronchitis is an upper respiratory infection. So instead of informing me that her children were coming down with something she decides to ignore it. Back to my now poor sick Monkey. We get home from the ER around 1:50. Get Monkey to bed, get ourselves to bed and everything is going good. Husband goes in to work at 6 they send him home and we're thinking awesome. Two of us can totally handle this sick kid. Well the moment he walks into the room the phone rings. He has to come back to work and go out into the field with his company because they need him. So I'm left to deal with a sick baby. Not too worried other then having to haul her out into the rain and cold to get her meds. Around 10 she wakes up. I take her temp (and let me just tell you this now, this kid is on strong trooper because I take her temp the old fashioned way if you get my drift) and its 101 already. I gave her some tylenol and then attempted to get her to eat. After about an hour I check it again and its now 102. I gave her some ibuprofen (you may not know this but you can give both at the same time), a quick call to my mom, then head to the Clinic to get her meds filled. We left at around 11:30 and did not return until almost 1. Yea, I know, it was a long wait.
By the time we get home her temp has dropped to 101 and decides to stay there for the rest of the day and into the night. At some point and time during that day I get a phone call from Sgt's wife bitching about how she and her kids are sick and that she needs her husband home when she wants him home. She tells me that she is going to start calling higher ups and bitching because he should be home with her and the kids. I inform her that my daughter is sick with bronchitis. Her exact words to me are "Wow you have it worse then me." Ya think? Wednesday comes to an end with no sign of the rain stopping.
Thursday, still one sick Monkey. Her fever is nice to her today though. It stays down at about 100 all day meaning no need for a fever reducer. We were both pleased. I didn't have to fight her and she didn't have to have some strange plastic thing squirt liquid in her mouth (other then the three times a day meds). She played for a about an hour then pleasantly fell asleep on my chest on the couch while watching Jungle Junction. Not gonna lie after she fell asleep I kept watching it :). She slept for a good few hours, forcing my bladder, as well as the dogs, to be put to the test. Thankfully the remote was within reach so I could channel surf, and both of the girls where snoozing on the couch with us. After she wakes up I realize my phone was beeping. Turns out Sgt's wife sent me a text hours ago. I didn't reply simply because I was lazy, though I did have the answer to her question.
Now obviously my kid is sick. And when she gets sick she turns into the most whinny baby alive. Every time she falls she looks at me like its my fault and begins to cry. Her feelings are easily hurt and she is just all around in a bad mood. I understand this. I've been sick before. I have no problem with her blaming me for a fall I was no where around to have caused. I like it when she comes whining over to me saying momma and dragging a stuffed dog three times her size. I like to pick her up and cuddle her. Even when she hits me in the face and throws a fit I still love it. She's my kid. (OK I don't love being hit in the face by my child and even if she is sick I still tell her no, my point was I still love her and want to cuddle the sickness away). I even love (not kidding here) her following me around the house, paci in one hand and a blanket in the other whimpering momma over and over again. She can only say a few words, non of which get her point across of why she is so upset. I however know and understand that she is sick. So its not big deal to me if she follows me around screaming my name or simply whimpering.
Now after dealing with a kid who has done nothing but whine and say my name over and over again (even while playing with her toys) for about an hour to two hours, my phone beeps. It's Sgt's wife telling me that she hates the name mom and wants to change it to something long and hard to say simply so her children wont call her name. I said good luck with that. I personally love being called momma no matter what the reason. And her next reply I didn't even respond to. Yes being a mother is hard especially when you have a sick child or two in her case. But her four year old is old enough to help mommy around the house. She can clean up after herself and get herself something to drink and snack on. She is able to put in a movie on her own and entertain herself IF her mother would let her. But of course her mother has raised both her and her brother to be fully reliant on momma which means when momma is sick and needs rest or has to take care of another sick child the house falls apart. It is not my fault you raised your children that way and now hate being called mom because your son is screaming that name in your face simply because he is two and cant explain to you or understand why he feels so horrible.
Being a mother is difficult. There are choices we have to make such as using the Ferber method vs the cry it out method, co sleeping vs crib, cloth diapers vs disposable, formula vs breast milk and eventually, time outs vs spanking, home schooling vs private vs public. Its a ton of responsibility that is suddenly thrashed upon us. A good number of us, if not all of us, have this perfect little picture painted in our heads. We have the perfect baby who never cries, never gets sick, and has diapers that smell spring fresh when its time to change them. We have a husband who is always in a wonderful mood, who brings home the bacon and showers us with something new and unexpected every day. We have the perfect body, know every recipe ever written, and can multitask like no other. The house is spotless and its always Sunny. Sadly though this is only a dream that most days won't be come true. As a mother and a human being I can accept this. My child is very much the perfectly painted picture (aside from the monster she turns into while sick, but again I can handle that), my husband, while flawed is still perfect to me. As for myself I am who I am and that wont ever change. I am the best mother I can be and the best wife that I can be. I married a man who chose a hard job which means I understand and can handle the fact that he cant always be there. So what do I have to say to a woman who whines and complains that her husband can't be home on a whim and that her children aren't perfect? Get the hell over it.
It rained Wednesday-today. My child has had a fever from Tuesday afternoon-today, though thankfully it has not been higher then 101 since Wednesday. My poor kid is still very sick with a cough that concerns me everything time she does it. She also has a tooth on the right side that picked now of all times to try and break through. She cries a lot these days. I have even considered pulling out my hair when I look over while holding a screaming baby and see my husband on the computer. BUT I love my child and I take the good as well as the bad with a smile in my eyes and a kiss on my lips. They may not be able to cure illnesses, but they sure can cure a sad baby.
By the time we get home her temp has dropped to 101 and decides to stay there for the rest of the day and into the night. At some point and time during that day I get a phone call from Sgt's wife bitching about how she and her kids are sick and that she needs her husband home when she wants him home. She tells me that she is going to start calling higher ups and bitching because he should be home with her and the kids. I inform her that my daughter is sick with bronchitis. Her exact words to me are "Wow you have it worse then me." Ya think? Wednesday comes to an end with no sign of the rain stopping.
Thursday, still one sick Monkey. Her fever is nice to her today though. It stays down at about 100 all day meaning no need for a fever reducer. We were both pleased. I didn't have to fight her and she didn't have to have some strange plastic thing squirt liquid in her mouth (other then the three times a day meds). She played for a about an hour then pleasantly fell asleep on my chest on the couch while watching Jungle Junction. Not gonna lie after she fell asleep I kept watching it :). She slept for a good few hours, forcing my bladder, as well as the dogs, to be put to the test. Thankfully the remote was within reach so I could channel surf, and both of the girls where snoozing on the couch with us. After she wakes up I realize my phone was beeping. Turns out Sgt's wife sent me a text hours ago. I didn't reply simply because I was lazy, though I did have the answer to her question.
Now obviously my kid is sick. And when she gets sick she turns into the most whinny baby alive. Every time she falls she looks at me like its my fault and begins to cry. Her feelings are easily hurt and she is just all around in a bad mood. I understand this. I've been sick before. I have no problem with her blaming me for a fall I was no where around to have caused. I like it when she comes whining over to me saying momma and dragging a stuffed dog three times her size. I like to pick her up and cuddle her. Even when she hits me in the face and throws a fit I still love it. She's my kid. (OK I don't love being hit in the face by my child and even if she is sick I still tell her no, my point was I still love her and want to cuddle the sickness away). I even love (not kidding here) her following me around the house, paci in one hand and a blanket in the other whimpering momma over and over again. She can only say a few words, non of which get her point across of why she is so upset. I however know and understand that she is sick. So its not big deal to me if she follows me around screaming my name or simply whimpering.
Now after dealing with a kid who has done nothing but whine and say my name over and over again (even while playing with her toys) for about an hour to two hours, my phone beeps. It's Sgt's wife telling me that she hates the name mom and wants to change it to something long and hard to say simply so her children wont call her name. I said good luck with that. I personally love being called momma no matter what the reason. And her next reply I didn't even respond to. Yes being a mother is hard especially when you have a sick child or two in her case. But her four year old is old enough to help mommy around the house. She can clean up after herself and get herself something to drink and snack on. She is able to put in a movie on her own and entertain herself IF her mother would let her. But of course her mother has raised both her and her brother to be fully reliant on momma which means when momma is sick and needs rest or has to take care of another sick child the house falls apart. It is not my fault you raised your children that way and now hate being called mom because your son is screaming that name in your face simply because he is two and cant explain to you or understand why he feels so horrible.
Being a mother is difficult. There are choices we have to make such as using the Ferber method vs the cry it out method, co sleeping vs crib, cloth diapers vs disposable, formula vs breast milk and eventually, time outs vs spanking, home schooling vs private vs public. Its a ton of responsibility that is suddenly thrashed upon us. A good number of us, if not all of us, have this perfect little picture painted in our heads. We have the perfect baby who never cries, never gets sick, and has diapers that smell spring fresh when its time to change them. We have a husband who is always in a wonderful mood, who brings home the bacon and showers us with something new and unexpected every day. We have the perfect body, know every recipe ever written, and can multitask like no other. The house is spotless and its always Sunny. Sadly though this is only a dream that most days won't be come true. As a mother and a human being I can accept this. My child is very much the perfectly painted picture (aside from the monster she turns into while sick, but again I can handle that), my husband, while flawed is still perfect to me. As for myself I am who I am and that wont ever change. I am the best mother I can be and the best wife that I can be. I married a man who chose a hard job which means I understand and can handle the fact that he cant always be there. So what do I have to say to a woman who whines and complains that her husband can't be home on a whim and that her children aren't perfect? Get the hell over it.
It rained Wednesday-today. My child has had a fever from Tuesday afternoon-today, though thankfully it has not been higher then 101 since Wednesday. My poor kid is still very sick with a cough that concerns me everything time she does it. She also has a tooth on the right side that picked now of all times to try and break through. She cries a lot these days. I have even considered pulling out my hair when I look over while holding a screaming baby and see my husband on the computer. BUT I love my child and I take the good as well as the bad with a smile in my eyes and a kiss on my lips. They may not be able to cure illnesses, but they sure can cure a sad baby.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Hello Sun you have been missed
Yesterday was a nice, warm, and sunny day. We decided to make a trip to the play center in hopes of the outdoor play area having a swing and the indoor having some toddlers/babies for Gracie to play with. Sadly no luck on either hopes. So after five minutes of letting Gracie run around and play on a rocking horse we decided we'd head home, get Sammy, and go for a walk. Monkey seemed to enjoy. We found a field for Sammy to run around and play fetch with a very convenient preschool play ground. Monkey swung and watched Daddy, play with Sammy. I got her to hand over the paci without complaints so I could get some good pictures of her smiling though the above it still my favorite. After our wonderful walk (and almost losing a ducky as well as food afghan Grandma and myself made) we headed home where Uncle was waiting for us. By waiting I mean playing a video game. I made us some yummy tuna burgers and the rest of the night was a kick back kind of night. We had windows open (inside it was holding steady at about 75), feet put up, and a very happy baby. The night before husband and Uncle has attempted to grill some burgers...we'll just say there was some technical difficulties and the first batch was ruined. But I saved the day with the cast iron skillet. I personally think my burgers ended up being better then theirs! Also finally used the deep fryer that was given to us. I know its not the healthily way to make frys, but they sure are yummy that way! All in all pretty good weekend. Today it was been cloudy and threatening rain, but still warm enough for the windows to be open. Anyways I have a feeling Monkey is starting to wake up from her nap so I guess for now I'm done!
Friday, April 8, 2011
Paci's, and the downfall of the goverment. Hand me some wine.
Its by now well known that the government shut down is not going to be averted. The picture above is of my little Monkey. It was taken today during nap time. This precious little girl gave up that pink thing in her mouth at four months. Over the last few weeks, she has been waking up in the middle of the night screaming bloody murder. When I pick her up she clings to me for dear life and will only go back to sleep if I lay her in bed with me. I thought that maybe it was because we were staying at my parents visiting, but she's even done after returning home. I also noticed that she was walking around with a sippie hanging from her mouth. She wasn't drinking from it or chewing on, just holding it in her mouth. I happen to come across some pacis the other day (we kept them because they were good to freeze and use as teethers since we had the soothie ones). I figured I would see what she thought of it since she use to like to play with them anyways. So I got the AVENT ones we have and handed it to her. Sure enough she shoved that sucker in her mouth and would not give it up something she didn't even do when she had one back when she was a tiny baby. I thought well maybe she just wants it for some reason, I'm sure she'll drop it later and forget all about it. I was wrong. She has since then wanted that thing no matter what. I personally don't see any harm in it right now mainly because of what my mother said, but also because its for a 0-3 month old and I doubt its doing much damage to her teeth. My mother told me last night when I called her explaining what was up, that she could be picking up on all of the stress that has been going around lately. With the scare of only getting half a paycheck come the 15th (fact now) and the scare of not getting a pay check come May 1st+ I have been a little over stressed. Sadly it would seem as if this stress has hit my kid as well. So while my Monkey continues to soothe herself with a pink devil (that by the way she dropped into the toilet causing me to have to get down another one and have a mini freak out about germs) congress continues to try and come up with a budget plan for a man who is being a bit too picky. Now I wont put all the blame on him, both sides refusing to budge on certain things as well. BUT he should have had himself involved in this long before it got to the this point. He waited until the last possible minute to get involved and that is why most likely the government will shut down tonight at midnight. I would like to state that when you take over a country its like becoming a parent. Its your job to do everything within your power to insure that it continues to grow and flourish. It is not your job to sit around and let in start a downward spiral into hell. As any good parent knows you don't punish without warrant. So what did the military and their families do to deserve a HUGE smack in the face? (I would just like to state that I do not support smacking your children in the face.) Bad parenting man. And you know kids can only take so much abuse before they start hitting back and to be honest with you, your kids are pretty big in numbers. You stop paying the boys with guns and their guns tend to turn in a new direction. I hope for your sake you have a plan for when you kids start hitting back.
There are very few times that I wish my husband had a different job, but today, and the days following this shut down, I wish he did. I wish we had enough money to help our friends out who are going to be hurting (just like we are) and that we could all just sit back, poor a nice glass of wine and watch the freak show.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
"It's your way or the highway"
So obviously being a military wife comes with its ups and downs. I have a husband who is gone for a year in a war zone at times, while others he's gone to the field for weeks, or another state for a month. He misses out on moments in our daughters life. He misses first words and first steps, first crushes and first heartbreaks. He puts his life on the line and for what? To be told come April 15th he may not get a full pay check? To be told that he has to report to duty without pay? To now suddenly have to worry about not being able to provide for his family? Last night while channel surfing I came across Obama talking about the budget plan. My first thought was finally I'll get some facts. My next thought was wow this man has screwed himself. Not only did he keep his mouth shut tight about the military, but he also put full blame on congress saying "its not your way or the highway". He is, correct. Its HIS way or the highway. Congress has come to agreements on the budget plan, he has rejected them. This morning my poor sick husband comes in from sick call and tells me that he rejected the plan congress worked through the night to come up with. If he wants to be picky, fine, but instead of making my husband, who fights to protect everyone in this country, give up his pay, why don't you give up yours? I cant even begin to count the number of times I have said this. If the government shuts down, they wont go without pay, we will. I have a friend who is pregnant (due any time now) and she was told that if a government shut down occurs, the military hospital is frozen which means no one is there. What is she suppose to do if she goes into labor? How about those who live off post? Obviously the ones who live on post will be safe from certain bill collectors (they wont turn off our power and water thank God), but what about those who pay rent, electric, gas? Not everyone is understanding and not everyone cares for the military. It was put out that everyone should contact their Billy collectors and inform them of whats going on. Yea that phone call went over real well. We have two bills outside of USAA (for those who don't know that is a military bank, fairly certain they will be understanding of the car payment not getting paid or the insurance) and my husband has talked to one of them while paying a bill a few weeks ago. The woman had to contact her superior who then had to go up to the highest person. No one knew what to do. All they said is to just cancel it if it happens and find some way to pay it. OK...so lets see...pay 90 dollars for a bill or put that towards groceries for family...hmmm...but if we don't pay that bill we'll get slammed with late fees because guess what? They wont be that understanding. Most places don't have something set up for a situation like this. And you know a lot of people say well then that's why you should have savings. Most of us are a one income family. Our spouse is on the lower end of the food chain causing most to live pay check to pay check. Diapers don't grow on trees (unless you get cloth which from now one every baby I have is wearing g diapers just because of this situation), formula doesn't magically appear out of thin air, and if you cant afford groceries for fresh fruits and veggies, then you cant afford the jar stuff either. If your on WIC will they have the money to keep those checks working? We don't know and as far as saving go, I put money in there that should pay a few bills and get us groceries but it cant last a month. Its enough for missing one weeks of pay, after that we're screwed. We cant afford to put more then 10 dollars a month back, and that's not a lot. Some people will say then the non working spouse needs to get a job. OK great, so my pay check goes to child care. Awesome, so basically I get to get out of the house and work my ass off just so that all of the money I make goes to socializing my kid even though I can do that for free by taking her to the play center. I love how people who aren't in this situation think. I also love how so many people aren't preparing for it and keep saying it wont happen, they'd never let the military go without pay. Well you live your fairytale life and I'll keep trying to live in the real one. I hate to admit it, but the shit is about to hit the fan and when it does it will be a day to remember.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
The Monkey is a baby no more plus some yummy food talk.
I love being the mom of a mini toddler. I love how she walks around, drinks from a sippie, and is starting to feed herself with a spoon. I love the fact that she will more then likely be potty trained before she's two and how she just learned at this exact moment how to put the stars around the ring. I love that she talks to me and can answer yes or no. I love how cute she sounds when she says things like "Diaper Change" or "What's that". I love how she likes to drink from a straw or cup and how she can bring me things she knows she's not suppose to touch. I really love her understanding of the word no. I think it's awesome that I have been able to make her food and give her a huge variety of things to try. She isn't a picky eater and is willing to try different things. I love being the mom of a mini Monkey toddler and even though she is tiny, often being mistaken for a preemie, she is still 100% perfect to me.
On to yummy food. It occurred to me as I was standing in line at Wal Mart Sunday night that we need some new things to eat. And of course there was a Rachael Ray magazine sitting on the stand just screaming here's your sign. So I bought it. Yummy yummy yummy, that is all I have to say. Yesterday I cooked the boys a wonderful salad considering I did not have much to work with and they loved it. It was then too that I decided we need more salads and what do I find in the Rachael Ray save the day? A very yummy and manly salad that I intend to cook for my men. I bought as much fresh organics as I could find today, made Gracie some very good yogurt, picked up a few other things to make her later in the week. I am however worried that we will get into a wonderful routine of eating healthy organic foods again only to then move to a place without too many options in the way of organics. I don't mind driving an hour away once a month, but with a 10 month old (then 13 month old) it will be a little bit on the annoying side of things, not that that will stop me. Anyways I cant wait for my husband to come home so that way I can make him some very yummy food! It figures that we would be apart for 2 weeks and 3 days only for me to come home, see him for 2 days, and then he gets shipped out to the field.
On to yummy food. It occurred to me as I was standing in line at Wal Mart Sunday night that we need some new things to eat. And of course there was a Rachael Ray magazine sitting on the stand just screaming here's your sign. So I bought it. Yummy yummy yummy, that is all I have to say. Yesterday I cooked the boys a wonderful salad considering I did not have much to work with and they loved it. It was then too that I decided we need more salads and what do I find in the Rachael Ray save the day? A very yummy and manly salad that I intend to cook for my men. I bought as much fresh organics as I could find today, made Gracie some very good yogurt, picked up a few other things to make her later in the week. I am however worried that we will get into a wonderful routine of eating healthy organic foods again only to then move to a place without too many options in the way of organics. I don't mind driving an hour away once a month, but with a 10 month old (then 13 month old) it will be a little bit on the annoying side of things, not that that will stop me. Anyways I cant wait for my husband to come home so that way I can make him some very yummy food! It figures that we would be apart for 2 weeks and 3 days only for me to come home, see him for 2 days, and then he gets shipped out to the field.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Jet lag's a bitch and Men cant clean.
Oh the joys of jet lag. Though I do have a wonderful Monkey who seems to love flying and does so great, its still exhausting. I got up at 2:30 am, left the house at 3, stayed awake the whole car drive, got to the airport around 4:30 then finally boarded my first plane around 6. Slept for a little while, landed and then waited over 45 minutes for our captain and flight crew to get there. In fact we were all on the plane before the captain. Anyways finally got back to New York and had my wonderful husband waiting for me at the gate. The benefits of the Military. Still didn't sleep until we got home. Took about a 30 minute nap then didn't go to bed until a little after 9. Today monkey and I slept the morning away. It was actually really nice. It was of course a rainy day, but not really stormy. I think the sound of the rain helped to tire out Monkey more even helped her to sleep better. I opened up the window in our bedroom and hers once we were up to let everything air out and even had the back door open. It almost hit 60 which was pretty awesome. Then once the fog in my mind cleared...I realized how awful my house was. It took me an hour just to clean the kitchen which our friend claimed he cleaned (though I'm sure he did...). After that I moved on to the bathroom and all I have to say is men can't aim worth shit. From there the living room (hadn't been dusted or vacuumed the entire time I was gone) and then finally Monkey's room. I decided to leave our room for another day. Two and a half hours of cleaning and Monkey was awake for all of it, though she did take about a 10 minute break for some smoothie/milk before chasing the vacuum cleaner and terrified dogs all over the house. It was amusing, she was even nice enough to follow me around with the cord so I didn't have to carry it. All in all it wasn't too bad of a day. Now all I need is to make out a grocery list for tomorrow (stupid commissary is closed on Mondays) and then go to bed early again for some more good sleep. I'm fairly certain I have to get up at 3am tomorrow to take husband to work. Oh the joys of being an army wife.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Flip flops, shorts, and tanks goodbye, hello you ugle boots.
Well today was a wonderful day (which has yet to end). The sun is out, the temp is hanging around at 70ish and my sweet Monkey is in shorts, short sleeves and no socks or shoes. I am enjoying the tank tops and flip flops, but as we all know, all good things must come to an end...a bitter, cold, snowy end. WHY???? Tell me, why does Fort Drum have to have snow? This morning while I was still snoozing away with nothing but a sheet covering me, snow was falling in Nothern New York. I do not know if it has stuck, but with my luck I'm sure its about an inch on the groud. One day soon we will be back in the sunny weather...but I fear it will not be soon enough for Monkey and I. So I must sadly say goodbye to my black old navy flip flops, and hello to my black ugle winter boots.
Now it has occured to me earlier today that I have yet to delete someone from my facebook. I should have done it months ago (around the time Monkey was hitting 4 months) but I didnt. I should have deleted the number from my phone, and blocked it from calling me. I should have done the same with my husbands. I suppose I was just hoping it wouldn't have to come to this again. I've already had to do it once before and was glad to. As much as I hate to lose a friend I dont want to be friends with someone who insists upon drunken text messages with too much honestly. And to be honest this persons thoughts on certian things in life have driven me beyond insane. You hate to be controled by the man yet you expect the man to hand everything to you. Ugh. Anyways so as I was sitting here scrolling through the updates I again see his face and think "Man, I sure hope my husband punches him in the face." Funny thing though I still didnt delete him.
Now something I considered posting yesterday when it happened, but I was in a mood and really wanted to say something but could never get the words right (what a great writer I am, though I suppose one day it'll just explode onto paper). So as my mother and I were leaving Wal Mart a voice yells from behind us "Hey do you pretty ladies need a stalker?" Of course I turn around and who is it? STALKER! He was a guy I went to high school with and I always called him my stalker because he would show up everywhere I was. I was insanly thrilled to see him. He told me he no longer worked at Hastings (a place that use to be skater central) and that he was now woking here. I laughed and told him I was wondering about that. I then said "hey look I'm no longer pregnant and pointed at my daughter" He told me he never even noticed when I was. Then as we are loading up the car he walks by with a guy he is training and says "Hey dumbass here wanted me to tell you that you're looking good for someone who has just had a baby" It made my day.
Goodbye flip flops and hello boots.
Now it has occured to me earlier today that I have yet to delete someone from my facebook. I should have done it months ago (around the time Monkey was hitting 4 months) but I didnt. I should have deleted the number from my phone, and blocked it from calling me. I should have done the same with my husbands. I suppose I was just hoping it wouldn't have to come to this again. I've already had to do it once before and was glad to. As much as I hate to lose a friend I dont want to be friends with someone who insists upon drunken text messages with too much honestly. And to be honest this persons thoughts on certian things in life have driven me beyond insane. You hate to be controled by the man yet you expect the man to hand everything to you. Ugh. Anyways so as I was sitting here scrolling through the updates I again see his face and think "Man, I sure hope my husband punches him in the face." Funny thing though I still didnt delete him.
Now something I considered posting yesterday when it happened, but I was in a mood and really wanted to say something but could never get the words right (what a great writer I am, though I suppose one day it'll just explode onto paper). So as my mother and I were leaving Wal Mart a voice yells from behind us "Hey do you pretty ladies need a stalker?" Of course I turn around and who is it? STALKER! He was a guy I went to high school with and I always called him my stalker because he would show up everywhere I was. I was insanly thrilled to see him. He told me he no longer worked at Hastings (a place that use to be skater central) and that he was now woking here. I laughed and told him I was wondering about that. I then said "hey look I'm no longer pregnant and pointed at my daughter" He told me he never even noticed when I was. Then as we are loading up the car he walks by with a guy he is training and says "Hey dumbass here wanted me to tell you that you're looking good for someone who has just had a baby" It made my day.
Goodbye flip flops and hello boots.
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