"Meet me on the Equinox"

I was standing in the laundry room sorting threw the clothes before I put them in the washer.  Monkey was playing in the doorway while husband and Uncle Newman played Call of Duty in the living room.  At first I thought it was my husband who said my name, but after the second time I realized it was too quiet and close to have been coming from him.  I ignored it while casually looking up to check on Monkey.  She didnt seem to of noticed anything.  Its moments like this that I question the reality that I live in.  I cant help but to wonder if maybe something didnt happen to me and I am now living within myself, having created a new world and refusing to wake up.  Maybe at times the voices that call out, or the unseen things that touch me arent what I have thought them to be.  Maybe their the other reality, the one my brain is hiding from.  My life is at times perfect, but at other times it not.  Its painful and heart breaking.  People all around me seem to be leaving, heading to a new life somewhere I cant visit until my time comes, or simply moving on.  It feels at times as if I am standing still while everyone around me is in motion.  I see everything, but cant change it or join in on it.  Is this just something my mind has created or is this life? 

I have created a wonderful story in my head, full of love and adventure.  It has everything I could possibly need to lose myself for hours in.  But what if that fantasy I have in my head is just yet another one that I have created and soon will fall into?  If I get it down on paper will that save me from losing myself again?  Have I already lost myself in a fake reality?  How do I know?

What if this life isnt even a life?  What if I am simply a doll in someone else doll house?  Instead of being the child playing with toys, what if I am that toy? 

I sit and watch the sun set, while Monkey runs around laughing and playing.  The boys are sitting around he TV playing their games while Sid and Samantha lay napping.  Its a moment like this that is perfect.  Whether its real or fact, its not a moment I would trade.  And if the voice that calls out to me is good or evil, its something I'll never investigate.  My life whether created or real is something I enjoy and dont want to give up.  I'll fight to keep it this way and I'll fight to keep away whatever that voice is.