Thanksgiving.

Its been a bit since I have posted.  Life has of course been busy.  I haven't been working out daily nor have I been eating like I should.  I realized yesterday while we were in a rush for church that the sugar dragon had not only crept up on me, but it had consumed me.  I was short tempered, I haven't been able to fall asleep nor have I been able to get up.  I snapped at Lady G and still feel bad about it.  That child is so amazing and she didn't deserve for me to snap at her.  I've also been short with sweet Lady L who has picked up on my stress and been giving me tons of random hugs and kisses through the day.  Not getting a job is really starting to wear me down.  I know its all in God's hands and he will see us through as he always does.  It doesn't change the fact that I feel like I am failing my family.  B has done nothing but work himself down to the bone.  He has been picking up over time as much as he can to help us out for the new part of the year.  We wont be getting BAH like normal because of the long Christmas break so rent and three large bills have to come out of pocket for January and February.  Its part of the reason why my diet is suffering.  Ive had to make cut backs on food, meaning Ive had to buy things like bread for sandwiches (to make sure the Ladies stay full after lunch to avoid snacks after nap time and for B's lunch), processed deli meat, canned/frozen veggies, its depressing me.  I would love to get a job, or even get my foot in the door.  Though I cant work weekends right away, starting in March I could swing a babysitter for two Saturdays out of the month, of course unless I can actually get an interview, there is no way for them to know that.  I try very hard not to think about the fact that I cant seem to catch a break.  I know its mu work schedule that holds people back from hiring me.  I know it has nothing to do with me personally.  I have experience, plenty, and am a very hard worker.  I know these things to be true, so I decided it was time that I take a step back and be thankful for everything that we do have.

I have a roof over my head.  I have three wonderful children who love and adore me.  I have a husband who is willing to do whatever it takes to provide for his family.  I have food in my fridge, gas in my car, and food in all the tiny (or not so tiny) tummies in the house.  My children are happy, healthy, and more of a blessing than I could have ever imagined.  I have faith, stronger than ever before, in the Lord.  I have found an amazing church that I am willing to call home.  I have friends who care about me, who listen to me, and who are there for me.  I have a family to fall back on.  I have a family who stands besides me through all my choices in life and who are willing to do just about anything for my little family.  I have clothes.  My children have clothes and warm beds to sleep in.  We are safe, we are not running, or hiding from anything.  We are strong and we will get through anything and everything that is put in our way.  We are happy.  I am thankful for everything God has blessed me with.