Sir E is to be the last of my babies. It is both saddening and elating all at the same time. The thought of no more diapers, no more spit up, no more sleepless nights of a crying baby, no more huge belly, pelvic pressure, braxton hicks, no more of all the maddness that comes from pregnancy and newborns. It also means no more pregnancies and no more babies. Its a complicated thing to know I will no longer be a mother to a baby. I will however be a mother to three children, then three teenagers, and eventually three grown adults. I will also get to be a Grandmother. My days of child rearing will come to an end but my days of babies will eventually start back up.
All that being said, the question of what to do once my babies all are in school has come up a lot. My husband frequently poses the question of "what do you want to be?". For as long as I can remember I have only ever wanted to be two things. A mother, and a writer. There was a time when I wanted to be a veterinarian, but that was before I discovered how much I loved writing. The problem with me and writing is I have been writing the same book since my husband and I got married. I have NEVER been able to come up with an end. I could leave it at a cliff hanger, but then that opens the door for a sequel. I could take a note from Game Of Thrown's and the Walking Dead, killing any character at will and of course only the characters you love most, and I could just kill them all off in the end, but who wants to read a book where they all die in the end? Not many, I would read it, but not many others would. I recently (thanks to a strawberry daiquir) have come up with the end and am feeling confident in a sequel. However books take time to write, time I dont always have. I have been writing things down here and there, but as a mother of three I am lucky to get a shower in most days. Once I get into the writing mood its hard to just shut it off too. Its also that time of year to get Christmas gifts made (have to start a few months in advance or else I am swamped). Being a writer and a mother of small children isnt an easy task and though I am excited to say that I have finally figured out an end to my first book, I dont have the time to devote to it like I use to. This however doesn't mean I wont write it. I fully intend to write it, its just going to take a while...longer.
So this still leads to the question of what do I want to be? What do I want to do? Ive considered several other options, most of them were squashed when I realized I would need about 8 years of school (doctor fields of study), and it would take all my time away from my family. I do not want to lose time with my family, so my current fall back is ultrasound tech. Something seemingly simple and not too horrible school wise. It would be fairly simple to obtain a job at a hospital or doctors office/clinic. I would most likely do this job any where we lived. And I feel pretty confident that I would enjoy it. Today however, a new idea came to me, an idea that was actually an old one.
My husband and I have often talked about opening some sort of business. He is going to school for business and being your own boss has its perks. We have thought restaurants, we've thought renting, we've even thought about owning a large amount of property and creating a dirt track for trucks. I personally I have thought how nice it would be to own my own store. A nice little boutique. Well since moving back to AR it has occurred to me the lack of hippy momma stores if you will there are, not just here but in general. I realized that I would love to open a baby store that carries everything from cloth diapers, to baby carries, organic toys/clothes, and breast feeding essentials. I could easily hold a cloth diapering 101 class, become a certified car seat inspector and help voice car seat safety, as well as be a voice for the need of chemical free toys, clothes, and even food. The options are limitless and I would greatly enjoy doing this. My children could come to the store after school, so I still get to be with them. I can easily drop them off at school before heading to open the store, I could still go home and cook dinner and we could hire someone to help out so I can be at an event my children my have. It works out fairly well. And I would again enjoy this. Educating people in things like this is something I love doing and though I am fairly certain cute babies being brought in and out of the store all day will cause my uterus to ache, it would be worth it.
What comes after mom? What title do I get then? I don't think I ever really get a new title. I will always be a mom, but there is more to being a mom than just MOM. I have a name. It is Elizabeth. My name does not define me, I define it. For now Elizabeth means mom, but maybe soon it will also mean writer, or store owner, or so many other things.
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