So I always knew I wanted children. And I always knew how I would parent my children. Its similar to how I was parented, but a bit more relaxed and open. We spank, we do time out, and we explain why we were spanked or put in time out. We are stern, have boundaries, invisible lines our children know not to cross and are firm believers that its never too early to learn the word NO. G knew no by the time she was 6 months. L is learning no. It hurts her feelings to get into any type of trouble, though she has also discovered how fun of a game it can be (for her anyways) to do things she isn't suppose to.
Now when I met my husband we talked about kids and about parenting (yes at the young tender age of 16 we were talking babies). We both agreed children after marriage was a definite and we both agreed we wanted kids young so not only could we run around and enjoy them, but we could still have a life after they left the nest. We also agreed on parenting styles. It was a match made in heaven, thus the green light for us to have kids. Our children do not throw food in restaurants or demand things. They do not demand sugar or sweets and would take a huge bowl of veggies over chips any day. Our children have manners, our two year old can hold a conversation (very well) with any adult and all because we taught her bottle, momma, daddy, dog, cat, eat ect and not baba dadda, ma, do do, kit kit, num nums, ect. From the day my kids popped out of the womb I addressed them as young human beings, not helpless brained damaged aliens. I will admit it has taken L a bit longer then her sister to become vocal. However I have to say its probably because there is a lot more noise going on around her then there was with just G. L is starting to say Momma, and my husband and I both encourage her by pronouncing it correctly when she attempts it. We do the same when she starts shouting "Ada" at an attempt to get her daddy's attention. She is now working on "dada" which is fine if she calls him that, but we will still encourage daddy.
Now my point to this was not to brag about my wonderful smart little girls, though bragging is always nice. No my point was my kids are 2 and 8 months and they are well behaved, so explain to me why I watched a three year old who cant vocalize shit and still refers to a cup as a baba? Well my dear readers let me tell you why. Its because his mother and father most likely never sat down and talked about kids. See daddy would love to just spank him when his son blatantly disobeys him, but his mother freaks out. His mother refuses to realize that her son knows better then to jump up and down on the couch and knows not to grab things off the table. She refuses to realize her son is not a baby. So dad sits in the sidelines and gets looks while mom lets son run around unsupervised in stores. Mom also gives "baba" of chocolate milk when she lays son down in bed, and if son falls and barely hits his head she completely freaks out. Her screaming is what made him scream, and how does she calm down a screaming "baby"? CANDY!
Now I am not a believer in beating your children, spanking is not beating. Now if the kid has bruises on their butt then yes ok your are more then likely beating your child, but see parents now a days think that anything that makes a kid cry is beating. So by that logic, putting my toddler in time out is beating. Anyways, because of this issue, it has become harder and harder to punish a child in a store. So we do the good old "If you dont straighten up right now I am taking you to the bathroom for a butt spank" This is my husbands favorite go to, I however am a fan of "Girl I will put you in time out right here in this isle if you dont knock it off" That one works better. Why? Public humiliation. Not that I think thats a good thing, but some times you need to take that kid to the bathroom and spank that bottom or place that bottom on the floor of isle 3. But do you ever see anyone doing this? Nope and why? Because that bitch with 5 kids running a muck gives you a look that says "I'm calling CPS on your ass" and you never go to that store ever again. I however have developed a contour look. Its says "Do it". There are two things I know about CPS. One they really dont give a shit and two if they do give a shit and find you are putting your kids in time out they turn around and never look your way again. And this is how I know they dont give a shit. I talked to CPS. I told them about a father who was indeed beating his son and wife. Nothing ever happened. Whats worse is I didnt even make the call, his wife did. I was called to confirm it basically. So my advice is discipline your child, no matter who is watching. If you aren't harming your child but doing what is best your are in the green (if you happen to be a child abuser and think that is best go punch yourself in the face 12 times really hard and see if you still feel beating is the answer).
Now I have seen a lot of diva toddlers in my day (and diva children). There is nothing wrong with a little girl or even a little boy having an attitude. We all have attitudes and its part of our personality, but when that attitude turns into disrespect then we got a problem. When G tells me no and its not a yes or no question she gets put in her place. She has lately been diva-ing it up which has landed her in a lot of time outs. Dont get me wrong, she can tell me no mommy I want to wear pink not blue and its not an issue. She can even tell me no I want carrots not broccoli but she tells me no its not nap time or no shes not sharing then her butt goes to time out and occasionally gets a little red. In short, a diva can be cute, but a diva needs to know she isn't the boss. So lets move on to the "Yes Mom".
A "Yes Mom" is a mom who does whatever she can to make her child happy. So when little Suzy starts screaming "I want candy!" in the checkout line, guess who gets candy so she shuts up? When Billy starts throwing a full blown out tantrum in the resturant because he wants "Chocolate cake!" guess who gets chocolate cake so he shuts up? Thats right ladies and gentlemen little Suzy and little Billy get whatever the hell they want because mom and dad dont want to be parents and say no. Cause a scene and spank that ass! Sorry I just had to yell that for once. No honestly the correct way to handle a tantrum in public people is to remove the child from the situation not give in and say yes because you are worried how you look to other people or that your child will no longer love you. Take them to the car. Sit them in their seat, strap them in if need be and let them have their fit. I will not argue with the fact that some times a kid needs to have a tantrum. They have got to learn how to come down from that point of anger, frustration, whatever they are experiencing and the best way to do that is either a calm down corner or when in public the car. I don't recommend doing the bathroom for a tantrum. There is still too much going on. You need a quiet place and parents you don't have to suffer here! Stand outside the car! Once your child has calmed down, talk to them then go back in and try again! All you "Yes Moms" out there stop trying to please your child! They should want to make you happy! Not you always having to give them what they want because you think they wont love you anymore or whatever bullshit reason you come up with in your head. Ugh.
OK now I am moving on to one of the most important things that no one ever seems to understand. When you become a parent your life now revolves around their scheduled not your own anymore. I mean yes you can be a little late for bed time every once in a while, I understand that there are times that you just can help it or even just for a fun thing every once in a while you break routine, nothing wrong with that. I am talking about the parents who have little to no routine in their child's life. If its nap time, guess what? That means your ass is staying put til that kid has had a nap. If its dinner time, you better be sitting down for dinner. (Little tip, if you want a kid with table manners, eat at the freaking table!) I hate to see a screaming kid rubbing their eyes and begging for food. Look if you know your going to run into this problem and CANT avoid it, make sure that kid gets some type of power nap (even put them down earlier) and have a snack. DONT and I really stress DONT give them sugar to "wake" them up. Thats just bad parenting. If they just had their blood taken and are crashing too fast and too hard give them sugar. If they have low blood sugar, give them sugar, but dont give them sugar just because you werent (or choose not to) able to let them nap. Here is our routine. G gets up at about 830 and L 845-9. We eat breakfast and G plays in her room while watching Mickey (nothing wrong with the tv in the room as long as its off when its sleep time). Then lunch comes into play from 11 to 1130 (some times G eats a big breakfast in which case her lunch is 12 we are still working on proper eating habits for breakfast). After lunch everyone is cleaned up and we pick up toys. L goes down for a nap 1230-1 and G goes down at 1. From 1230 to 4 the house is quiet. G gets up at 3 and watches Max and Ruby while having a snack quietly in her room. She then usually reads to me while I sew. Once L is up I start dinner and the girls eat at 5. 730 L eats again after she and G get a bath. L goes to bed at 830 and G at 9. If G gets up we dont go oh well we say get in bed. Our routine rarely gets broken. I make doctors appointments based on this routine and if it has to be broken, I plan for it.
Bottom line, sit down with you partner and talk about weather or not you should really be parents. Dont just assume it will be all peachy because it wont. You will epically fail at being a parent if you dont at least sit down and talk about each others ideas of parenting. Please I am begging you. I just might snap some day and parent that random child in the store who is being beyond a brat and it just might be your kid if you dont do something now.
No comments:
Post a Comment