So today was a little crazy though what day isn't. It started out slow of course. We got home super late last night, so we all slept in, husband so wonderfully got up with girls and I slept for an extra hour or so. It was nice. Miss L took a 3 hour nap and the husband and I enjoyed some alone time during the 2 hour nap G took. Once both girls got up we headed out to the store. I didn't honestly think it would be a bad trip. I figured L would not need her 5:30 nap. I knew dinner time would be an issue since we would still be shopping when 5 hit, so I brought along a mum mum for L and made sure to nurse her before we left. She had a sippy with an oz of juice and the rest water. She was doing good for a while eating her mum mum and drinking her juice, but then she wanted that damn nap. I of course forgot toys. Thankfully we were almost done when she was getting to the beyond point. G did awesome until daddy gave her a bit too much freedom and she thought running threw the drink/snack part of the store was a game. That one was not fun. Anyways by the time we made it home it was almost kick off time for the husbands game. Both girls wanted food, L wanted me and only me and I was suddenly freaking out. I needed to eat husband was no help and I didn't want to bother him. I finally asked for help and he was fine to help me. L was late on her 730 cereal feeding and didn't get it until 8 so she was cranky and falling asleep in her highchair. All the cold stuff was put up but the kitchen was a wreck. G wanted attention and to play with her new books and computer game but I didn't have time to give her the attention. I kept promising her later and she kept getting upset knowing her bed time was coming. I was rushing and stressing out. I kept thinking I have to get this done and this done and it has to be done before this time, I was going mad. Then while bathing Miss L it hit me. I didn't need to get everything done. The kitchen could wait until after both girls had gone to bed. L needed to be in bed by 830 because we are breaking her of co-sleeping and trying to get her to self soothe, but G didn't have to be in bed by 9. She could stay up a little longer and get the attention that she needs from mommy. If she asked to go to bed or started to get cranky then ok, but otherwise its not a big deal. Once I figured that out life got easier, I got L to bed before 830 (she was so tired) and got to spend some time with my two year old who as usual blew my freaking mind.
I got her two new books (she picked one out and the other was to replace one she colored in) and then I got her some cards that come together to form a picture and a three letter word. I also got her a computer game to help her learn her shapes and colors (which we have never really worked on). Both said for ages three and up. Now because of your baby can read, G recognizes some words, so I'm never too surprised when she reads a word to me. We first sat down with the computer game. Numbers was up first which she pretty much blew threw that one. She can count to 15, so yea. Next we did colors. That one was a little harder for us and one we'll have to keep working on, but she did start to catch on by the time we were finished. Knowing my little ninja she'll have it down by tomorrow haha. Next up shapes. She started out very weak. Then about half way threw she didn't need my help what so ever. She was pointing to all the right shapes and saying their names everything. The husband came in as we were finishing up (half time) and was blown away himself by how good she was doing. I couldn't believe it. These are things a 3 year old are suppose to be doing and shes already there. The last part of the game we didn't really get into. She was getting tired, so we moved on to our card game. That was interesting. We were spelling out the word and she kept saying the next letter to come after what we would say (example I was spelling ape. I would say A she would say B. I'd say P she would Q.) She did catch on though and tell us what the word was (based on looking at the picture it formed) and we would talk about the picture and the word. As well as sound it out and spell it. She was getting tired and board, but still hanging in there. Next we read. It was nice to sit and read to her. I haven't sat and read to her in a while and I find it interesting that every time we read something new she is able to sit and listen to a book that has more then one sentence on a page. She likes books that have several sentences on the page and it doesn't have to just be a Dr. Seuss book anymore. She's branched out and is becoming her own little person. After that we said goodnight to daddy, headed to the bathroom and brushed our teeth. She demanded I floss them (she thinks its the coolest thing ever) and then she put on a pull up. I was surprised when she didn't fight me on this one. She always says she wants to wear panties, but she did look sad so I told her I was going to try and make her some special big girl panties for bed time. That seemed to cheer her up. After that she laid down and only got up once. Its amazing to watch her grow and I beat myself up for not giving her more time. Its hard when L is so demanding of my attention though. She does need me more since she is a 6 month old infant, but I worry G thinks I like L more than her. She comes into our room every morning and sees L in bed with mommy and daddy. L's crib is in mommy and daddy's room. L's clothes and diapers are in mommy and daddy's room. I worry she thinks she isn't as apart of us as L is. I know once we are out of the army and have a bigger house it wont be that way so much and I try my best to explain to G that she is a big girl and gets to have all this big girl stuff, but I don't think its enough for her. Before L she had me all to herself, and now not so much. I have to sacrifice even more time to myself for her. I don't mean that in a bad or selfish manner I just mean my break from being a mom and wife seems to become shorter and shorter, so not only do I find myself not giving G, my husband, and even L at times not enough attention so that I can get other things around the house done, but I find that I am losing myself in the mix. Its hard to hold on to who I am outside of my family when almost the whole of me is consumed by them. I need to find some me time, and I think if I could, I would not only be a happier person, but I would feel more like a person and not just a mom and wife. I have a few projects coming up (of course they are for my girls, but they are also for me because I will be making them which makes me happy) that I hope will help me let go of stress. I have to find time to do them, but I think I can get them done during nap time and G's quiet time (which is L's nap time). I am hoping I "find" myself in the mix of all this chaos soon. I love my smart little monkeys and their ninja tendencies and I love my husband and his very honest way of thinking, but I need to be more than just "homemaker". I'm not looking to be Supermom, but maybe I am looking to earn those pearls she wears.
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