With a toddler on my hip and a baby on my breast...

I took an extended leave of absence. Life tends to get in the way of silly things like a blog with faceless readers but for today I am back. Life for myslef is beyond what I could have ever imagined. I have been blessed with two wonderful children and a devoted husband. Despite how we may fight that man has and always will stand by my side threw anything. I owe him not only my heart (which is his and most certainly will always belong to him) but I also owe him my gratitude for without all his hard work I would not be where I am today which is at home with our darling girls.

I remember when I was pregnant with our first little monkey and my aunt and cousin thought I was beyond mad for saying I was planning on going completely natural. Little did I know then that soon not only my extended family would find my parenting choices less then modern but so would almost every stranger I would soon come across.

Once our first little monkey arrived I tried my damnest for the first 6 weeks to breast feed. It ended the day monkey and I both were crying hieratically over my breast. I had some guilt but knew in the end I was doing what was best for my child. Our next issue came in the form of diapers. Pampers were the only ones that saved my little one from the horrors called rashes. Huggies burned her skin and after the horror stories I had heard from parents choice users I didn't even bother. Now as an uneducated new mother I had no idea of my "other" options.

When someone says cloth diapers most have this mental picture of folded cloth and rubber pants. They picture a hassle and horrible smelling laundry rooms, or at least that's what I pictured. I pictured leaks, stained clothing, and a sudden hatred for parenting. Little did I know cloth diapers have advanced to fit modern society, not that people who use disposables ever admit it, but after a year of buying pampers that never had her size in stock, I decided to look into it. Honestly I owe it all to my friend. She too was tired of the added expense and wanted something better.

I tried them and loved them but then disaster hit. We can call it a night of passion or we can call it what it was. A natural fail in pity sex. In my never ending crusade to stick to the natural right of things we had decided to practice the rythme method. I will simply say it invovles knowing your body which I did very well so well in fact that when saying what I did to my husband that one night of "passion" I had also known that that day was a no no day. But things happened and about six weeks later the strip showed two very clear lines. So with a toddler on my hip the emotional roller coaster began. And thanks to these little things called hormones the fluff was put up. I could not with stand the poop. A few months later I pulled the fluff out again and we gave it another go. After one horrible rash we jumped on the potty train. Our little monkey was a champ, so long as she was naked. As my belly grew and Christmas loomed a head of us I had a naked toddler running loose in my house. We packed up her fluff, threw some clothes on that naked butt, and headed to grandmas. Of course disaster struck again in the form of family problems and one messed up back. Monkey reverted back to full time fluff. Still though my belly grew and monkey number two was soon to arrive. I worried as I watched the bills and knew diapers weren't in the cards. I began then to research different kinds of cloth, bought a diaper sprayer and broke our bank account making sure both my little monkeys have enough fluff for their cute little butts. I got looks, I got eye rolls, and I got comments when my cute little monkey walked in with that cute little fluff butt. I simply smiled and said yes we cloth diaper.

Enter monkey number two. She came in with a bang, the cord wrapped around her head, shoulder's, and a big old tight knot. Her heart rate kept dropping and had my water not broken when it did she might not even be here today. Breastfeeding was to say the least diffecult for the first two weeks. We stuck to pampers to help with the stress until life settled down and until our little monkey could fit her fluff. Soon though I had the breastfeeding down and both girls with cute fluff butts. Oh I got looks. Nursing in public, changing cloth diapers, wearing my youngest in a sling or wrap. People thought I was crazy. I am constantly asked how I do it. I simply smile and shrug. Truthfully I have no idea. I notice that I drink more coffee now and watch little tv. My own personal wants come last. I sacrifice showers for sleep and nice clothes for comfy sweats. I some how just get by. Most days I am beyond tired. My poor body needs major attention after carying and delivering two healthy babies and I plan on gettimg on top of that soon. For now though I go threw my days clothing one, potty trainging the other and walking around with a toddler on my hip and a baby on my breast.