Little Girls

When I first found out that Lady G was going to be a girl, I was terrified.  I knew nothing about little girls.  I had always been a tom boy, a guys girl.  I liked playing in the dirt, wearing overalls, refusing to conform a wear anything but a sports bra until I was nearly sixteen (I developed breast in the third grade as an fyi).  My favorite color was not pink, pink was not in my wardrobe.  It wasn't until the ninth grade that I started wearing make up (my cousin dolled me up at the end of gym class one day) and doing girly things wasn't an interest.  I told people not to get me pink things for her.  I didnt want pink to be her color.  I said no to the big bows, no to the pink, no to everything the screamed IT'S A GIRL!  And then she came.  She was pink all over, soft skin, gorgeous big eyes, and though I said no to laying her on my stomach, she was laid right there on top of me.  She looked right up at me and smiled. 

I was terrified to touch her.  After all the nurses had left I stared at her in her little plastic bed and asked my mother if I could hold her.  My mother laughed and told me "Yes!  She is yours!  You can do whatever you want with her."  From then on out my world became pink.  I still didnt over do it like some mothers do.  Occasionally she had the headband with the bow, but it was never over the top.  We pierced her ears and I snuggled her close at night enjoying her sweet smell, her soft little pink skin, and those gorgeous big eyes.

As she grew she acted like most toddlers.  Any toy was a fun toy.  We collected pink toys over the years and pink blankets.  Our home was slowly filled with things that screamed girl, but it was also filled with toys that screamed child.  She had legos galore of which she loved.  She had books in all shapes and sizes.  Over time she began to request Hot Wheels to which she loved as well.  When Lady L came I didnt bother to say no pink.  We where given a pink bath tub (which Sir E used too).  Lady L loved all her sisters old toys but as soon as she was old enough to pointed and bounce up and down she wanted the Hot Wheels.  She loves her cars so much she even refuses to share them at times with her siblings.

As Lady G continued on her path of growing into a little person her likes kept changing.  The little girl I had tried so hard to keep pink from now demanded it.  Dress up clothes in pinks and purple, princess wands and crowns, it all had to be hers.  Minni Mouse was her idol as well as every Disney Princess known to man.  She wanted me to fix her hair, to put her in dresses, and buy Hello Kitty.  Her love of girly things grew and grew.  Baby dolls, barbie dolls, a doll house, and clothes for her babies.  She had turned into a little girl full blown and it seemed like it happened over night.

Lady L has followed suit though her love for her dear Hot Wheels has never waved.  She now wants to play mommy like sissy and dress up to be a princess.  They both often ask me "Do I look pretty?" once they have dolled themselves up.  I tell them yes very pretty. 

But dont let the pink and purple fool you, do not let the glittery shirts blind you, they are more than just pretty little things.  The go out in the backyard only to return caked in mud.  They dig for buried treasure, hunt for deer like daddy, and as of late have been requesting toy guns.  They wear their pink safari hats with pride as they walk about the yard on an adventure, The Beast in tow of course.  They fall, they get bumps and bruises, scrapes and cuts, they roll around with each other, tackle one another to the floor, squealing with glee.  They are rough and tough little things.  They are my sweet little girls and I would not trade them for the world.

Inquisitive Children

I have a distaste for small inquisitive children (this includes my own) and here is why.  While working on my book ( and I am using this term VERY loosely as I have yet to decide if I am going to fully commit to it this time or if I am simply airing out the creative pipes) sweet Lady G awakes from her nap.  This is fine, she is drowsy still and interested in tv on the couch while her sister and brother continue to snooze.  I pop a head phone in and get back to work.  Soon I become aware of a tiny person talking.  She needs a snack.  OK, raisins it is.  I have barely managed to sit back down before she needs a drink.  OK, water here ya go.  Then she informs me when she is done with her snack she would like to work on her writing stuff.  OK OK cool, eat your snack.  Snack consumed and she seems to have forgotten about her penmanship.  Awesome.  It's really flowing now, those creative juices that I often put on hold in order to care for the tiny people in my life.  The bliss doesn't last as she comes up saying "OK I'm ready"  So I pull out her notebook and get her set up next to me.  I'm thinking she'll write and I'll write, it will be a glorious bonding moment.  First she needed to know what letter came first...A kid, A.  That clearly became a pattern, along with, "How do we do that one again?" and "Look at this one, this one is a little fancy" and of course the high fiving all while I am trying to throw my mind into full blown teenage romance deciding all the way or just close to...  Now I cant even talk dirty, so thinking dirty, picturing it, then having to describe it is pretty much causing my own cheeks to flush along with this fictional character and now I have my 4 year old sitting next to me.  I barely got a few lines down before Lady L, my sweet little 2 year old walks in.  At this point I just closed the computer.  Of course once Sir E awoke it was easier to get back to work.  He hung out in their room and they all played (for the most part) together happily.  I love writing, its part of the reason I started this blog to begin with.  I'm a good writer, I dont know if I'm best selling author good, but I'm good.  Aside from being a mom I've only ever wanted to be a writer and I know one day that dream will come true, but for now I have to put it on hold a lot.  I have three children, two at home with me during the day, a house to care for, and a husband who bust his butt daily for us.  As much as I would love to be able to put everything on hold and completely throw myself into this, I can't and I'm actually ok with that.  And for the record I love my kids and though it may drive me mad some times I love their inquisitive nature. 

On a completely unrelated note, it occurred to me moments ago that I keep my right pinkie held above the others when using my right hand.  It is as if I am at high tea at all times.  Let that just soak in for a little bit.

Thanksgiving.

Its been a bit since I have posted.  Life has of course been busy.  I haven't been working out daily nor have I been eating like I should.  I realized yesterday while we were in a rush for church that the sugar dragon had not only crept up on me, but it had consumed me.  I was short tempered, I haven't been able to fall asleep nor have I been able to get up.  I snapped at Lady G and still feel bad about it.  That child is so amazing and she didn't deserve for me to snap at her.  I've also been short with sweet Lady L who has picked up on my stress and been giving me tons of random hugs and kisses through the day.  Not getting a job is really starting to wear me down.  I know its all in God's hands and he will see us through as he always does.  It doesn't change the fact that I feel like I am failing my family.  B has done nothing but work himself down to the bone.  He has been picking up over time as much as he can to help us out for the new part of the year.  We wont be getting BAH like normal because of the long Christmas break so rent and three large bills have to come out of pocket for January and February.  Its part of the reason why my diet is suffering.  Ive had to make cut backs on food, meaning Ive had to buy things like bread for sandwiches (to make sure the Ladies stay full after lunch to avoid snacks after nap time and for B's lunch), processed deli meat, canned/frozen veggies, its depressing me.  I would love to get a job, or even get my foot in the door.  Though I cant work weekends right away, starting in March I could swing a babysitter for two Saturdays out of the month, of course unless I can actually get an interview, there is no way for them to know that.  I try very hard not to think about the fact that I cant seem to catch a break.  I know its mu work schedule that holds people back from hiring me.  I know it has nothing to do with me personally.  I have experience, plenty, and am a very hard worker.  I know these things to be true, so I decided it was time that I take a step back and be thankful for everything that we do have.

I have a roof over my head.  I have three wonderful children who love and adore me.  I have a husband who is willing to do whatever it takes to provide for his family.  I have food in my fridge, gas in my car, and food in all the tiny (or not so tiny) tummies in the house.  My children are happy, healthy, and more of a blessing than I could have ever imagined.  I have faith, stronger than ever before, in the Lord.  I have found an amazing church that I am willing to call home.  I have friends who care about me, who listen to me, and who are there for me.  I have a family to fall back on.  I have a family who stands besides me through all my choices in life and who are willing to do just about anything for my little family.  I have clothes.  My children have clothes and warm beds to sleep in.  We are safe, we are not running, or hiding from anything.  We are strong and we will get through anything and everything that is put in our way.  We are happy.  I am thankful for everything God has blessed me with.   

Email

I have been checking my email every day since Saturday.  That may not seem like a long time to be checking it, but since I rarely check it, its a big increase for me.  I'm not waiting on some confirmation email on something I ordered nor am I checking for deals from the few websites I have newsletters set up with.  I am waiting for one email, just one, that states I am being considered for a job.  Now I know it is foolish of me to assume that my application has some how soared to the top of the list, that is has been checked, that my references have been called, and my work history pulled.  I know that it is crazy of me to think that in just three short days they have already gathered all they need and are sending out an email to me, but I'm still checking, I'm still praying, I am still being let down when I see nothing. 

I never thought I would be here.  I never thought I would be waiting for a call or email that would let me know I have "made the cut" and am being considered.  How can they possibly tell who I am through an online application?  How can they get a feel for me through the clicks of a computer?  Are they judging me?  Wondering what I have been doing for the past 4 to 5 years that I would have no work history?  Do they think my work schedule that I have chosen is by choice or do they think because it is so specific that there has to be a reasoning behind it?  These are all things I could have written in on a store application or simply told the manager while turning it in.  I could have talked myself up to the manager, made myself memorable.  I could go in every day to the manager, make small talk, see the status of my application, but online, online they dont know who I am or why I need this job so desperately.  To them I am just another number in the many stacks of applications that they get.

It has become apparent to myself and B that we are at a point I thought we would never reach.  In all honesty I dont think he ever saw us being here either.  We have come to a point where me not working isn't a great option.  We have come to the point to where I have almost no choice but to find a job or watch us keep slowly going under.  In a few months, some of our financial burden will be lifted.  We will be able to pay off two very large debts (or close) and be left with one.  That one will be paid by his BAH, but we will only have a few short months to get it paid off.  After the middle of May we will no longer get BAH until the end of August.  His BAH pays for three bills and the rent.  We can pay rent out of his regular pay check, doing it this way just happened to help us out a little more.  But with BAH gone we will have to some how make it all work.  We may still have one large bill to add to our others.  Now I am a smart woman.  I pay our insurance as far out as it will let me, which is 6 months.  Had our insurance not come back, we would be a little better off.  Thats 114 extra dollars out of his pay check now.  I will again next March pay it through to 6 months.  It will be a relief for a few short months until this other bill is no longer paid by BAH.  Buying groceries will become a struggle.  Currently I am working on getting our grocery bill down and I am slowly getting there, hopefully by then I will be able to have it to a nice small bill that will allow us some breathing room.  Our gas bill for the van will go down since Lady G will be out of school.  I will probably be able to make it a whole month on one tank of gas.  But even with us cutting corners, our heads will still be barely be above water, unless I get a job.

I tried all summer.  I tried and tried, even had an interview, but the moment I said I cant work weekends, that was it.  I would explain my husband works weekends I have to be home with our children.  I was shocked at the comments of "Cant you get a babysitter?" or "Don't you have family who can watch them?".  First off I am trying to get a job, the fact that I have been home with my children for four years and am now desperately seeking employment should be an indication that no I can not get a babysitter.  As for my family I would never want to change that relationship my children have with their grandparents.  I would never want it to change from a fun, free, happy relationship, to a caregiver relationship and sadly it has been there before.  I do not wish it to go back.  Now if I could get hired and have a few paychecks in my bank account, things could change.  Maybe I could be able to afford a babysitter.  Maybe on a weekend that my mother took the kids I could pull a double, but I'm never given that chance.  I have started to see why so many mothers struggle with getting on their feet or helping to support their families, not a lot of businesses are willing to bend the rules.

I am both excited about the prospect of getting a job and completely saddened by it.  For five years I have been a homemaker.  For four of those five years I have been a mother.  I have had my husband's clothes cleaned and put away for him.  I have had dinner ready and waiting.  I have gone with him to appointments, waited during surgeries, cared for him when he was sick, and stayed up into the late hours with him simply to be close to him.  I have made sure his house is always clean.  I have cooked for his friends, made them feel welcome and informed them when they were overstepping their boundaries.  I have been a mother.  I have held my children when they were sick, when they were hurt, or simply when they needed to know I still love them.  I have colored with them, painted with them, bathed them, fed them, and kissed them whether they wanted it or not.  I have stared at them sleeping, cried with them out of frustration, been there for first steps, first falls, first laughs, and many more.  I have been their entire world for their entire lives.  To think that I will not be there as much breaks my heart.  I knew one day I would get a job, but I never knew it would need to be when I still had a baby at home and a toddler about to head to school.  I do not want to leave my sweet babies.  I do not want to hear them cry as I walk out the door, begging me not to go, clinging to me.  I do not want them to think that I am leaving them by choice, because if I had a choice, I would stay home with them.  I am however excited.  I can finally take some of the burden off of B.  I can do as I have always done and take care of my family, just in a new way.  My family needs me and I need to be there for them.  I am trying.  I am praying, and I am checking my email.

Recipes, Hoarding, Oh My.

So B has had the computer since Tuesday.  He had a ton of homework to do, he also stole it from me this morning and took it to school, so we are just going to make this post be an all in one type of thing.  First up RECIPES!

I have made this pumpkin roll recipe 3 times now.  It is amazing.  I craved pumpkin like a mad animal when I was pregnant with Sir E.  I HATE (hated) pumpkin.  My sister brought a pumpkin roll to my moms and my gosh I was hooked.  So this year I decided to make my own.  Of course you know it had to be Paleo.  This recipe is grain free, dairy free, and refined sugar free.  I dont actually follow the recipe to the exact because I have been out of coconut flour!  I used Bob's RedMill Gluten free flour.  I have to say I love that man and his company.  I also did not make it dairy free.  There are two options for making the filling and I didnt have any organic coconut milk.  If you are going to make the coconut filling make sure you get organic, the fat content is so much better.  Here are a few fun pictures of the cooking process!

 After its all mixed together this is pretty much how it looks spread out.  I wished that I had a picture when first making because I had no idea what I was doing so here you go!

 My little cooking buddy!  Sir E making a mess.

 This is how it looks after its been cooked, rolled, and chilled.  You will notice some cracks, thats ok.

 This is whipped.  Some people have no idea what whipped looks like.  To help out a little let your butter and cream cheese (if using that version) sit out to soften.

Now its all ready to be re-rolled!

I dont have a picture of the end product, but you can enjoy a picture of Sir E chowing down.  Boy loves his pumpkin!

Here's Lady L admiring her lunch.  She had to eat everything else first before she could have the pumpkin roll.

Recipe here:

http://www.primallyinspired.com/no-grains-no-dairy-no-refined-sugar-pumpkin-roll/

Next up is tonights dinner.  We had Grain Free Nacho Pie.  Sounds different right?  It does contain dairy which we typically keep out, but this recipe is made with cauliflower which needs help flavor wise, so I went for it.  It was really good.

 Cauliflower rice.  It should be about the same constancy as rice, hence the name cauli-rice.

 I make my own taco seasoning.  Much more healthier for you and I can cut out the middle man.  You should have all these spices in your kitchen and if not well its time to add some spice to your life!

1 Tbsp chili powder
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1/4 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp paprika
1 1/2 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
1/4 tsp crushed red pepper flakes

I got it from the dailymom.com, I recommend you check her out!  I also leave out the red pepper flakes and only do a teaspoon of the cumin, dulls down the spice a little.  B isnt a huge fan of spice.  Mix it up and add 2/3 cups of water!  I mixed mine with the water this time around.

You add the meat then the cauliflower mixture.

 And this is the end result.  We topped it is salsa, black olives and avocados.  B also had sour cream on his and extra cheese.

Recipe Here:

http://beautyandthefoodie.com/grain-free-nacho-pot-pie/

Now as of late I have been watching a lot of Hoarders in the morning time.  It always puts me in a cleaning mood, in fact if you lose your motivation watch that show.  Anyways, that show as well as a lot of photos I have been looking at as of late has cause me to think that maybe its time we talk about cleaning your freaking house!  Come on people!  Now I know not everyone has time to keep a tidy house so for all you working families, just skip this rant.  In fact go put your feet up, turn on the DVR get caught up on your shows and come back in like 5 minutes.  For the rest of you (yes I am calling out stay at home parents here) what the crap is wrong with you?  I can see a pile of freaking trash right behind your child which is suppose to be the main focus!  And its not like the photo is captioned "Cleaning up this nasty house and kiddo is proud to help" No, its captioned "First day of school!" or "Growing up so fast!".  I can see freaking trash!  I can see a clear pile of crap just sitting there and whats worse is I can also see its not in just this one freaking area!  I can see into your kitchen!  No way do you not have roaches!  And dont give me this bull crap of "my house is lived in" or "Im too busy enjoying my family to clean", no your too lazy or you just dont give a flying flip and want to live in filth.  Unless I have been sick or carrying for sick kiddos, there is not a time of day, week, month, or year that you could not come by my house.  Why?  Because its always clean.  Aside from the bathroom, 4 potty trained people with one bathroom...we are lucky I still clean it...since its only me who cleans it.  You have one bathroom you share with others, I get it, you get a small get out of jail free card, and here is why its small.  Does it look like maybe its getting time to scrub the toliet or like you havent touched it...ever.  Same goes for the sink and the tub.  I wont lie, my tub has me looking like the worlds biggest hypocrite right now.  There appears to be a brown ring around the bottom, but Lady G had to have an oatmeal bath tonight for her dry skin, so its from the oatmeal.  Tomorrow while Sir E is napping, I will head in there and start scrubbing.  Do you know how many people wouldnt even bother?  Gross, just freaking gross.  Take pride in your home!  Clean it!  Im not saying dust it daily, hell I dont even dust daily, but I do weekly (though you couldnt tell damn swiffer duster just isnt cutting it...), sweep your floors, mop every once in a while, and clean up your freaking junk!  And just to show you that I can put my money were my mouth is I did a little before and after work and am still doing some work.  There are some places in our home that becomes cluttered easily or that has been junked up since I unpacked.  Mainly closets and I have been working on them slowly. 

This is our closet.  See how easy it is to just throw stuff on the floor?  It looks horrible and is a very easy fix.  Now if you have a husband, you will find he likes to make his own hamper, the bedroom floor, right in front of the hamper, the bathroom floor, occasionally the living room floor, pretty much any spot he takes it off, it stays.

Look how freaking easy that was.  The belts I dont like, but we dont have the room for them to hang so there ya go.  But still it looks so much better and all I did was put the dirty clothes in the hamper.  Aside from laundry day your floor should be clear of clothes.  Teach your husband or nag him til he caves ladies.

 Please note that I allowed things to get like this for the purpose of this blog.  The picture above is of the vanity in our room.  It holds the printer and the junk mail waiting to be shredded.  Now thanks to Sir E the mail I had sitting on top of the shredder is now all over the floor...Thanks son.  This vanity does get junked up pretty easy, but over several weeks and I try to clean it off weekly to prevent this.

 This called an I Love Me box.  It holds all of our important documents and again thanks to Sir looks like this.  Also note the messy dresser.  That is an incredibly easy fix.  Proper folding and always closing the draws can make a huge clutter difference.

 Here is the after.  Sir E was making his kind of music with the pen.  Also note the shredded paper on the floor, he kept pulling the shredder down.  Its actually still like that.  Our vacuum and I arent seeing eye to eye right now.  It likes to make this screaming sound when I turn it on...

Here is the after of the box.  Note the dresser too.

 This is kind of how our bathroom usually looks.  The brushes and straightener are put up, but the wash clothes are usually there for dirty faces and hands (they get changed out daily) and its a little unorganized, nothing horrible.

 This thing was a nightmare.  

 But after some worked is now organized.

 Of course after fixing one mess I created another.

 That is much better.

 This was Sir E's dresser.  It doesnt get that badly cluttered, but for the purpose of this blog it did. 

 This is about how it usually looks, maybe with some clean clothes that have yet to be put away if I folded clothes during nap time.

This is also how we store clothe diapers to keep the clutter down.  I will be doing a post on cloth pretty soon.

Now all that cleaning took me about 2 and half ours total.  I did do it with an 11 month old "helping" and while caring for a 2 year old who loves to come and ask question or tell stories that have me wondering if her father may have dropped her and never told me...anyways,  it can be done.  It can be done easier during nap time, but it can be done.  I will be adding pictures here and there as I clean up others areas of the house to show you guys.  Cleaning is so important, please clean up your crappy house or start taking picture outside because I swear if I see one more filthy house I'm going to mail you cleaning products at random until you get the hint.

Oh Snaps.

Kids seriously say the darnedest things.  As of late Lady G says Oh Snaps and can you turn the juice down.  Oh and of course, you crack me up.  Lady L is in the habit of calling people pinecones when they make her mad.  As hilarious as it is, I still have to get onto her.  Sir E is in the lalalala mode.  He does this weird thing with his tongue and when I do it back oh the giggles that erupt.  He is also really into helping me.  For instances today he climbed into the laundry basket of clean towels and threw them all on the floor in an attempt to help me fold.  All I could think was thank goodness I mopped yesterday.  He also likes to help me cook by either ramming into me and the dog water while in his walker or by opening cabinets and emptying them.  He also likes to try and clean out the cat box...thankfully its not as gross as what you are thinking.  He has grasped the word no very well.  Speaking of Sir E, allow me to discuss momdar, or mom radar.  It is the ability a baby has to sense a mother entering the force...  Example:  Your sweet baby is playing peaceful on their own in their bedroom.  You walk by the door, busying yourself with housework while you have the chance.  Your sweet one freezes, turns, and follows you though they didnt see you, didnt hear you, had no idea you were there.  Thankfully for toddlers and older children they have to actually catch a glimpse of you before theirs works and then they tend to wonder around trying to find you vs hunting you down like a hound who has caught onto your scent.  This happened to me today.  Sir E was playing in the Ladies room.  His back was too me, but the moment I passed the doorway and entered my bedroom (our of sight) I hear it "mum mum mum mum".  He was distracted by something which allowed me to separate clothes, but soon he was back on the trail.  Momdar came to mind.

My weekend was horrible.  B and I came down with the stomach virus going around at about 330 am Friday morning.  I only threw up once, but B and his poor digestive health had to head to the ER.  He even stayed home from work Saturday which always has him in a self loathing mood.  He beats himself up for staying home even when there was no way he could have been productive.  Thankfully my glorious mother came Friday night and took the Ladies with her.  Sir E went to bed shortly after she left and B and I enjoyed some much needed sleep...until he started getting up from stomach pains again.  He never got sick, but kept getting up which woke me up.  Aside from being tired and having a migraine I felt fine.  My mom kept the Ladies another night and by Sunday morning I felt wonderful.  Had an amazing time at church and then came home.  The Beast tore a hole in my couch cushion.  I was livid.  Still am actually.  I had gotten him this huge bone the day before.  It was something that I knew would keep him busy all day and yet...it was untouched.  This dog has slowly started to tear up my house and I swear I will go and buy an extra large dog kennel in a heart beat and he can sit in there and suffer while I am gone.  We had a staffordshire when we lived in NY and he had to stay in a kennel.  I dont even want to tell you the things that dog ate...  I know the Beast loves the chew, but when I give him a bone and he chooses my couch over the bone...he better just be happy this couch is on its last leg anyways.  I would love to be able to leave him outside when Im gone for long periods, but since he helped our neighbors dog escape into our backyard, I cant leave him for more then 30 minutes or so.  Drives me nuts.  After I gained some control I left to go pick up the Ladies.  I was gone for a lot longer than intended, but thankfully when B got home he hadnt chewed up anything else.

While at my mothers, I weighed myself.  Oh snaps.  I have lost weight.  I can actually wear her jeans and they are loose on me!  She obviously has smaller jeans then I do so the fact that they were loose made my day.  I was going to try and weight until I was the in 160 range before I got new jeans.  I'm pretty sure my hips will be at their thinnest then.  Even without all the fat on them, I dont see me fitting into anything smaller than a size 10.  I'm telling you I have HUGE hip bones.  I am now officially pregnancy weight with Sir E.  I was around about 175 when I got pregnant with Lady L so we still have about 7 lbs to go there.  Either way huge win.  I have been bad lately and have had a lot of sugar.  I cant even tell you why I have been eating it.  My stomach hurts so bad afterwards.  I worked out today, it was tiring, but the Ladies came and joined me which was wonderful.  I loved watching them try to work out with me.  I took it easy though I kept it at a level 2 work out, I just didn't push myself too hard.  I felt great afterwards.  I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow, though we shall see how my body feels about it.  I'm not taking a picture this week of me in my workout clothes before I haven't had a full week of working out.  I'm hoping to be able to see results through the weekly photos.  I'm also hoping it keeps me motivated by having to bare it all.

Speaking of baring it all I hope you all realize that I am completely opening myself up here.  I'm doing this to show my friends that being healthy it possible.  I am also doing this for myself.  I'm trying to strip myself of this shy, timid self, and become open, honest, and strong.  Good luck to me.

If I seemed a little scattered towards the end its due to Lady G coming and joining me on the couch.  She is doing ABC Mouse, asking questions and now sounding out letters.  Its wonderful but distracting.

Work Work, Work It Out

First off it occurred to me today while I was getting house work done that I should do a blog series on cleaning and organizing.  I think people seem to think that I am perfect (or think I think I'm perfect) which is so far from the truth.  I think opening up my house so to speak for the "world" to see could be a good thing.  I also have been on an organizing binge which is partly caused by my awesome diet (seriously you clean up your diet and you find you want to clean up other aspects of your life too), the other part is due to our small house.  If we let it get too cluttered its like being on top of each other and it sucks.  I'll go into all this some more either tomorrow or next week.  Heading to my parents house tomorrow afternoon and I may not being to get a post up. 

This was taken yesterday.  The bathroom was a wreck (floor wise anyways), B was in the shower behind me, and I was in a hurry to get Lady G, but I took a moment to snap this picture.  It was rainy yesterday so my hair looks a mess, but I felt awesome.  Do you want to know why?

Thats why!  Look at that GAP!  My pants dont stay up well, however if I can get them pulled up to my belly button and wear my boots, they sorta stay in place.  Now take a look at my belly.  Isn't that lovely.  I have lots of stretch marks which at some point you guys will get to see full force.  I have some before photos will be posted at the end of this month or the end of next.  These pants are a size 16 and the stretch kind.  When I bought them back in March maybe, but they were a little tight, so this is a huge win for me.

Like I said Work It Out!  I bought these back in March (maybe?) too.  I didnt fit into them like this.  In fact I looked much much worse.  I even had to tie them today!  I did a light work out this morning and its a good thing I didnt do a full force work out.  Oh my gosh, my legs felt weak and shaky, in fact my whole body felt that way.  I was STARVING when I woke up.  I havent been listening to my body very well and am suffering for it.  I needed fat yesterday and this morning trying to work out I felt the lack of it in my system.  I did break a very small sweat, but over all didnt really feel the work out like I would have had I done a harder one.  Tomorrow Im going to give it all Ive got.  Hopefully I wont feel so weak during it.  For anyone who wants to throw in the excuse of "I dont have a gym/cant afford it" or "my kids get in the way", thats crap.  I get up an hour before my kids.  I also go to bed an hour after my kids (two hours after Sir E).  I dont use a gym.  There are TONS of workout videos you can do at home as well as a TON of online ones too.  And when the Ladies do interrupt, I let them joy in!  Lady L came into the living room as I was finishing.  She had just woken up, looked at me stretching and said "Phew, that was a great work out mamma."  I often let her join in on yoga with me (when I do it which hasnt been a lot lately).  She likes to do her version of a pushup/jumping jacks too.  She gets in some exercise as well as some momma time, and I can get my work out done.  As for weights, I use 3 lb weights, they aren't expensive and get the job done (I'm not trying to be a weight lifter here).  You dont need super heavy weights just starting out.  Now once I get to my desired weight, then I might up the weights, but for now they work and they weren't expensive at all.  We have hard floors, so B and I did invest in some nice yoga mats, but again that's not needed.  If you have carpet you're golden otherwise you can use a towel or blanket.  Excuses are not an option.  If you want to change you have to make yourself do it.

My last picture.  These are a 16 wide.  They seriously fall of me.  I have no idea how I even keep them on.  This is part of the reason I eat the way I do and part of the reason I work on my body.  My body is a never ending project.  It will never be perfect (see that belly?) but it will be healthy and in shape because I am determined.  I also need new underwear, because well they just kind of fall off too.  I can also for see a need to get my ring resized in the next few months... 

Now if you all will excuse me I have a fussy baby who has two teeth coming in, refusing a nap, and I still need to shower for the day.  Yea thats gross.